Answer

On Tuesday I had my laparoscopy. Finally, I have an answer to my current discomfort. Endometriosis. I’m thankful to finally have a diagnosis. 2 spots were found during the laparoscopy and they were lasered off. My incisions are small, one in my belly button, one above my pubic bone. With that being said I’m a bit sore and thankful for the medications and sleep. I’m not exactly sure what the next step is in the process. I have already found an abundance of information on the Internet and surprisingly I was linked up with someone through a Twitter post. I do know that I have an appointment in 2 weeks with the doctor and hope to get a game plan together. There is no cure for endometriosis, as with kidney stones. The average age of endo diagnosis is 27 years and most have the disease approximately 9 years before diagnosis.

I never imagined at the age of 26 I’d have these medical problems. Add onto that the medical problems David has...whew, what a whirlwind. However, I am once again thankful for what we do have and many of the decisions we’ve made. For instance, my becoming a vegetarian. After these problems reared their ugly head, I looked at my entire life/lifestyle thinking, “Am I doing something wrong?” With the kidney stones, yes some of my supplements can encourage formation, which I have now changed. However, when it comes to diet/exercise, I’m doing things right. And when it comes to endo, some meats may encourage the severity. I’m not here promoting vegetarianism to prevent problems, but I do know my diet should not cause further problems. Next, David’s and my decision not to have children. We’ve had a strong conviction for awhile that parenthood wasn’t for us. Endometriosis doesn’t mean infertility, however there is a pretty good chance that this could occur. Having already made the choice on our own that we do not want to have children gave me peace of mind. So instead of that choice being taken away from us due to my diagnosis, we had already made the choice on our own. Of course, I do wish things happened in a different order and that David didn’t have to go through a vasectomy, but you can’t change the past.

As with everything, the future is unknown and we’ll take it one step at a time.

Compromise

We all know quite well that I've been sucking at the running motivation stuff lately. We also know that running while in pain hasn't helped either. So, this is the deal....at least for the moment. I have stopped running. Yep. I'm pushing myself to run when oftentimes I don't really want to. On top of that I hurt pretty bad throughout the entire run and afterwords. Not to mention, I don't know how safe it is given that I have no idea what's going on in my body.Not cool. This isn't a permanent thing and I'll be honest, I'm going to dread restarting to run....not the concept, but the actuality of it. I've taken a week off before and needless to say my running suffers severely. Yes, in just a weeks time. Ah well. But, this is the rest of my plan...instead of running I'm going to walk. I'll hopefully be able to keep some athleticism and fitness but have less impact and discomfort. I'm hoping to stick to my plan....if anything I'd go back to running before I quit everything all together.

No Answers....Yet

My day in a nutshell....woke up after sleeping about 1/2 hour, went to work, called doctor for IVP results, left message, nurse called back, IVP results were negative, left work, went to ER, in ER all day having tests performed, LOTS of waiting, ruled out more options, doctor wanted to send me home without definitive diagnosis and for me to "call the doctor Tuesday," I said no and wanted something further done, that I've been patient enough for 2 months, I've gone through 4 doctors searching for a diagnosis, requested transfer or anything that can help the situation, gynecological doctor on call came down, actually listened to my history, gave me options, going with a laparoscopy on the 29th, basically an exploratory surgery using scopes through my belly button. Will still have to wait for answers, but that's due to pre-certification, etc. I've waited this long, I know I can be patient a bit more. Just thankful to have someone once again listening and being proactive. I have a gameplan and something to work towards.

Next Time On Medical Mysteries....

It's 3:26am and I'm up, fully awake. If I didn't feel like shit I could easily go for a run....but of course, that's not an option. I've been tossing and turning in bed since 2:48am and figured I better leave David and Viking alone so that I don't ruin their sleep too. As everyone knows quite well, I've been dealing with abdominal pain for the past 2 months. After basically demanding an appointment (a month ago), my appointment arrived on Wednesday. I felt that my urologist heard what I had to say. I was not bitchy but made it known that I've gotten lost in the shuffle and something needs to be done for me, and soon. I learned a lot at my appointment. For instance, the stones that are present were present on my original ct scan in March. In addition, those stones are located in my kidneys....stones in kidneys don't make you hurt. Oh, and the pain with kidney stones....that's not from them moving (like I was told by the office), it's from them obstructing or partially obstructing flow. My most recent ct scan revealed I still had kidney stones, but nothing in my ureter that should be causing this pain. Keep in mind, the stone that was obstructing last time was considered punctate. It had caused enough irritation to cause inflammation and obstruct.

So, where are we at right now? My doctor wasn't too happy about me falling through the cracks and acknowledged that. He's not 100% sure that this is stone related. There are subtle signs that point away from this being stone related. I had an IVP performed yesterday in hopes of determining if kidney stones are the problem. (The IVP prep was basically what you'd do for a colonscopy....yeah, shitting water for hours straight, not fun). In my opinion I have a 50/50 chance of this being the case. There are approximately 5 other options, including appendicitis. I'm supposed to find out the IVP results today (Friday). After that our gameplan will be made.

I do know this, I'm ready to be fully diagnosed and treated. I'd appreciate it if this could be done before we end up in the poor house and before I go crazy. I'm thankful to have insurance, but when I'm constantly receiving bills for my issues, and attempting to pay them off, I feel like I'm about to lose my mind. I'm also ready to be "me" again. I haven't had a full night's sleep in about 2 months. I wake up cramped in the fetal position every few hours. It's hard to work oftentimes because my mind is not focused. Not to mention, the lack of sleep doesn't help. Running has basically been out of the question. And the nausea. Gah! I have yet to vomit, but that's not saying much. I have a pretty strong stomach, but let me tell you, that vomit is right up in my throat, just ready at any moment. The pain. Oh, the pain. It's constant. It's not necessarily "double over" pain consistently, but it's there and wants to be felt.

So, that's where I'm at. I'm here, fully awake at 4am, and it's about to put me over the edge. I'm trying to be patient, counting down the hours until I receive results from my test, but I must admit I don't know how much more of this I can stomach....literally.

Guess it's too late....Just as I was finishing this entry I made it to the bathroom in time to vomit. Guess my nausea with no vomiting streak is over......

Reading

I've been so into reading the past month and I love it. When I graduated high school reading novels was the furthest thing from my mind. Entering college my nose was always stuck in a book. Unfortunately it was never "fun" stuff. After graduating college and passing my boards I revisited reading fiction and found what I've been missing for several years. Boy, I missed it. Sometimes I go through phases and won't read a book for a month or so, but when I find a nitch, I'm as happy as can be. I'll admit I loved the Twilight series (enough to read them 3 times....so far), but that's not where it's ended. I appreciate some good Chick Lit too. I'm not into too heavy of stories given that reading is my escape. Yes, I like fluff. At the same time I like some historical pieces. I will admit that I don't give books much of a chance though. I give it 50-100 pages and if I'm not "feeling it" it's tabled. This past month I've been reading like it's going out of style. I'll finish a book every few days. Man, if I was young and enrolled in Book-It I'd be eating a lot of pizza! Once again, they're light reads, but I'm plowing through books faster than ever. Thankfully I get some excellent coupons from Borders and purchase a lot of books through half.com, but if I run into a time when I'm bookless, either waiting for a coupon or used book to arrive, I about lose my mind. Yes, I could go to the library. I know the library is an excellent resource, but I often have issues with the books. Don't ask....I'm weird. I'll resell my books online, so it's not a total loss.

My recent book was Shiver. It has some Twilight undertones but it is it's own story. It's simple, but at the same time made me do some thinking after finishing. Thankfully with the Twilight series I was able to read right through them all since I was late to the party. Unfortunately this is a new release and the next book in the series isn't slated to be released until Fall 2010. Gah! Ah well. I'm sure I can find something else to read in the meantime.

Struggle

My kidney stones are still present, but I have an appointment with the doctor this week. I have continually fought the mental battle of running the past year or so and the kidney stone issue isn't helping one bit. I've taken time off (even before the stones), but that didn't help. I know what I need to do, get up and move, but when you're hurting it just doesn't happen. I've gained wait, feel unfit, and when I do run I'm not seeing those miraculous goals happening like they were when I was new to running. The concept of running was hard at the beginning, but the pounds melting off was a huge payoff (that's not happening now). Then I started to eat healthy and I felt like a machine. Of course I wasn't close to being a machine, but I felt the best I've ever have in my life. At the same time I was so obsessed with running and what was being put in my mouth that I felt like I was also becoming a robot. I started to back off a bit so I could become more human....unfortunately that backing off lead to slacking, which has lead me to where I am now. I feel like a broken record, because I know I've blogged about this multiple times, but I'm hoping at some point a lightbulb will go on and I'll find my motivation to get my ass moving regularly and find that happy medium. In the meantime our work schedules are back to the "school schedule," so hopefully that will help. I'm also thinking about signing up for this run. (virtually of course). It's an excellent cause and you can't help but love the mascot, eh? And as always, if you have a run you're working towards, even if not competitively, that helps you get out and moving

Shoes

David's work shoes bit the dust today. They were just regular ol' Adidas running shoes, but they were literally falling apart. As with so many things we've found it hard to swallow the ever increasing costs of day to day items. Anything we buy we want to be affordable and something that lasts. For instance we don't require brand names. If it works, then we're cool. Thankfully we were able to find a pair of shoes for David and they met his specifications. Affordable, reputable brand, comfortable, and no mesh (so funk from cleaning can't get to his feet). Needless to say he ended up with all "leather" black shoes.....you know, the kind that you'd hate as a kid....that "old or poor people would wear." But, they fit the bill and we were happy. As we were walking out to the car David asked, "Am I showing my age by getting these shoes??" Ha! Of course we're not old, but we had a good chuckle. It is true, as you get older things come into perspective much easier. Needs/wants, what's important/what's not.

Wall

Last week I hit a wall. You know, one of those imaginary walls your mind and body slam into? I was tired, in pain, and just worn out bother physically and mentally. Thankfully I was able to take an afternoon off at work, get a massage, and just relax...or relax as much as I can relax. I also ceased running for the past week. Just trying to get everything back in line. At this point I'm still having the pain issues with the kidney stone, but my stress level has come down a few notches....for the time being. I will say, it's just over a month until we leave for Puerto Rico and boy are we ready. I don't want to get my hopes up but I am hoping for a relaxing vacation. Even still, having our vacation within reach gives me peace of mind. Just got to keep my eye on the prize.

Twilight Through David

David and I were riding the scooter yesterday. He said, "I have an idea.....We should have someone videotape us on the scooter. You'll hold on tight and I'll move my legs real fast like I'm running. We'll then use software to somehow "remove" the scooter from the scene....and it will look like I'm Edward, running with you on my back." Hilarious. You'll have to have seen Twilight to understand this and like it in order for this to be funny. But it did crack me up. This isn't the first time David has referenced Twilight...not to mention the first time on the scooter. Another time I was told, "You better hold on tight spider monkey....." Oh how I love him so.

I Appreciate You

Yes, I still have kidney stones. Yes, it's been over a month since the symptoms started. Yes, it sucks. Yes, running myself ragged at work doesn't help the situation. But, I'm dealing....Not to mention, I get to come home to this cute face everyday....

Okay, not exactly the same looking face, but still. Yes, that's David and he's only 6 months. Look at all of that hair! Too cute, eh? Whether it's a picture of David or just him, he can bring a smile to my face and for that I'm appreciative. Especially when I have those rough days.