Frustrations

I'm just going to lay it out there. I'm suffering from some frustrations. I won't call it winter blues, because in all honesty I don't feel depressed...just frustrated. I'm not looking to readers for sympathy or negative comments. I just need to get it off my chest and this is where it will be.

The frustrations are plenty and basically I've found that it's a big circle and they feed off of eachother...

I've had some time off from work. I can't complain about that, but our pocketbook will. That then brings up me worrying about finances, which is never a good thing. As with every other instance I'm sure we'll be fine, but it still stinks to have that hanging over your head, always asking, "Do we really need this? Can we go another week without it? Where can I cut from or get extra money from?" Or just trying to space out our spending in general so we don't have a big whammy all at once. I'm sure ya'll know what I'm talking about.

I've also been at a point where I don't know what to do with myself, especially with all the time off. I feel like a waste of space. You can only clean so much, so I think to myself, "What next?" It'd be a great time for a home improvement project(s) but once again you're dealing with the money situation. Not to mention we're at a standstill with the downstairs bedroom. As of this point I think it's something we need to tackle in the spring, allowing the windows to be open to release dust, or even hiring someone to do it.

Alright, no home improvement projects, what next? I'm at a slow point during school, which once again is a good thing, so I've taken up some reading. Don't get me wrong, I've love being able to read, but I also want to be active. It's not like I want to or feel I have to be moving at all times, but I like to feel like I've accomplished something when the day is through. Which leads me to the next thing, running.

With the weather it'd be great to have a treadmill. Not happening....money again. Not only can I not run due to the weather, but even if it was favorable outside or I had a treadmill my running is at a total halt right now. The bottom line is my knee is still bothering me. I stand, it nags, I sit, it nags. No matter what, it's the same ol' thing. I think this is one of my biggest frustrations at this point. I want to be active, I need to be active, but I can't. People around me say, "Go to the doctor." Easy for them to say. As stated in a previous post, when you have limited coverage for this type of stuff you think twice. I understand it should probably be looked at. I recognize that. It still doesn't change my monetary affordability to have it looked at. I've done my research to see if I can pinpoint my symptoms and have it narrowed down. The problem is, depending on which one it is one says, continue performing as normal, whereas the other says, stop, let it rest, then continue. So I think to myself, "What should I do?" At this point I'm not running (obviously) and am supplementing with a Cosamin (Glucosamine + Chondroitin) which comes highly recommended from my boss and ibuprofen. I do think it's helped. Only time will tell.

With this setback I am beginning to question my participation in the Cleveland Half Marathon. With 69 days until the race, there's still time, if my knee issue subsides and I get back into gear. The thing is, I need the knee problem to cease and have enough time to gradually build my mileage back up to where I was at and then some. David has this fear too, as he's been unable to run also. He has the problem where his feet go totally numb and so then he'll lose his footing unexpectedly and tumble. Not to mention, he's truly in pain when all of his limbs go numb just after a few moments, or oftentimes in his case, before he even starts.

Not being able to run and being cooped up has also lead me to having some nutritional issues. Since I'm not burning the calories like I've been, the lbs have started to creep up on me over the past couple of weeks. It's not like I've gained 10-20 lbs, but another frustration. I'll admit that I don't have that great of nutrition whether I'm running or not (darn sweets!), but I definitely can't eat the amount of food I eat when I'm running. So at this time I need to readjust my eating habits and amount, which is never easy, especially when you're trying to cut back. Cross training would be great, although darn near impossible. Not having a gym membership, along with the crappy weather, doesn't give you choices. I just settle with my pilates and crunches. It's something, but not much in the scheme of things.

I think the whole "Wicked" thing this weekend put the cherry on top of my frustrations. Really it's not that big of a deal, especially now that refunds will be issued and our lives are more important than any amount of money, but it's just the point of it. It seems as though when we plan a trip, evet, etc. something happens. Recently it's been the weather. Hawaii...down the crapper for a multitude of reasons, especially weather. David's trip with his dad to Minnesota on Christmas Eve.....terrible snow storm that they had to drive through, which wasn't safe, and the Vikings still lost. And then "Wicked". Bummer. It makes me nervous to plan anything.

Looking ahead to the future, which is hopefully brighter.....Our next vacation is coming in the fall. However, I've been looking at the travel books only to find that October/November are the rainy months in the Caribbean. We knew it was hurricane season, which runs through summer and ends in November, but usually this isn't an issue, as the ship will travel around the storm, and there usually aren't too many, if any, problems. Still, I can only hope that weather won't ruin this vacation. If it does I may just lose my mind.

So that's it. My frustrations in a nutshell.