This morning was my first "down" time since my surgery/diagnosis. I could blame it on hormones, but I think it's finally kicking in that yes, I may be dealing with this chronic pain, permanently, most likely, for the rest of my life. The past three months have sucked, but I continued looking for a diagnosis and an answer to my problem. Something that would make it all better and make the pain go away. Fortunately, I have a diagnosis. Unfortunately, there's nothing truly to fix the problem. It's basically a crap shoot of trying multiple approaches, hoping something works for you. Even if it gives some ease momentarily.
My active life has been put on hold. I can only hope that this is short term and that someday I'll be able to be back running daily. Right now I'd just like to be able to return to my OCD self and keep up with my cleaning, without thinking, "Am I over doing it?" I've had someone with me 24/7 and am thankful for all of the help. (Love you mom, dad, and david!)
I'm going to continue with hope that my discomfort may ease as my incisions ease, however, that's not where most of my discomfort is coming from. The discomfort is coming from the same area where it was coming from pre-surgically. Since I've never been through this I didn't/don't know what to expect. Day-to-day I'm going blindly, based on my own personal research, grasping at any knowledge I can find.
I know this is a "down" day and acknowledge it. Some things will get better. But right now I'm still letting things sink in and wondering about all of the unknowns.