Monday, March 30, 2009
With the return address as....
David couldn't open it fast enough. Although his enlistment is finished he couldn't help but think that the piece of mail contained orders. Thankfully it wasn't and it only contained this.....
Sunday, March 29, 2009
Thursday, March 26, 2009
I told David my dilemma and idea about fun runs last night. He was supportive...at the same time all is said was, "You know it's not always about the distance and speed. Just run to run." Ding! Ding! Ding! That's it! So simple, but hearing it made so much sense.
I'm a numbers person. A person that likes black/white. Of course there's a time and a place for this thinking. Unfortunately having this mindset all of the time can kill you. Kill in the sense of life experiences and just plain happiness. I've known this all along, but as I get older and time goes on I'm realizing it more. I don't know if I can change myself. I've been this way for so long it's going to be hard and darn near impossible. Any changes will be small and take time, but it's worth the venture and attention.
So....back to my first fun run.....I jumped in a pair of shorts, an under armour, laced up, and grabbed my pepper spray. I headed out with no gadgets or unnecessary extras. No Garmin, no iPod, no Bondi Band, no sunglasses, no SPIbelt, no cell phone. In other words, just like when I started running. I had no set route or set distance. I just went. Ahhhh, it was nice. I listened to my surroundings and more importantly my body. Don't get me wrong, I love listening to music and I can also have thoughts at the same time, but having my ears free to hear while having thoughts fill my brain, I loved it. I couldn't look at my Garmin to see how far I'd gone or how fast I was going. Once again, I just went the speed that felt good.
I came back with a good sweat, feeling revived, and just good. I'm digging my fun run idea. This was a great reminder that sometimes you need to take a step back to move forward.
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
As April 1st comes closer and closer I'm having doubts about the idea of running that marathon. Those doubts don't come from actually thinking I can do it or not wanting to do it. It's the oddest feeling. I guess what it comes down to it, I think to myself, "Why do I need all of the bells and whistles of an official marathon?" I can't help but want it, but I don't need it. However, I do need running.
Unfortunately this winter has been a bear on my running energy. I want to run, but at the same time, I don't. It's a constant battle in my head. Of course running has always been a love/hate relationship with me, but as this winter goes on, it's getting harder and harder. I can only guess that this negativity comes from staring at a white cinder block wall. I'm thankful that I have the option to run on a 'mill, but in the end it seems to kill me. In addition, after running outside last week I realized even with my minimum 3 times a week 3 miles on the 'mill, there are certain muscles that are out of shape. I remember absolutely hating the 'mill at first, thinking it was so hard. I must have adjusted and now running outside is going to be a challenge again.
At the same time I just want to have the WANT to run. I know it feels great afterwards, but for some reason it's hard for me to remember that before the run. During the past 2 years I was wondering when my "running spirit" would cease....the beginners high lasted a lot longer than I expected. The thing is, I know deep down I still love it and want it. Not to mention I know it wasn't just a fad and it will be part of the rest of my life. I'm just trying to get back that spirit I once had.
Training for a marathon would put fire under my ass to get out there and run. I also know with better weather around the corner, I'll be able to get out and do my thing. I'm hoping that will lift my spirits. So where does that leave me? I'm not 100% sure. But this is what I've come up with so far....fun runs. No, I'm not talking about officially organized fun runs. I'm talking about, I, Heidi, will find a place to go run, map it out, and go on an adventure. Of course I can't do this daily, but maybe if I make it a once a week thing, my spirit will rise. Just an idea, but it's worth a try. As for the marathon.....I'm not committing one way or the other as to whether the Marine Corps Marathon is a go. I'm leaning toward the NO go side, but I'll know April 1st. If it is a no go, I do have an idea waiting in the wings. My marathon dream will not die, it will have a twist. Stay tuned.....
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
When it comes to music, I love everything....but I've got to admit that yes, I am an 80's fan. Not so much the trends, but I love rocking out to some 80's music. You can only guess that I have a few songs on my iPod. One being.....
Most people know I'm a Twilight fan. Some may say I'm obsessed. Personally I don't think I am. I just appreciate the book and the movie. With that being said I was pumped for the release of the movie. I've seen it, but let's just say it wasn't that great of quality...I'll leave it at that. So, yeah, when they announced the DVD release I was thrilled. I had debated about pre-ordering it. I knew with pre-ordering it wouldn't arrive until a couple days later, and even then, it could be delayed. That, or take a chance and get it at the store. Either way, I had already waited, if I had to wait longer I think I could have handled it. After analyzing the situation, and with David's input, I decided against pre-ordering.
As the days grew closer I was receiving notifications of "Midnight Twilight Release Parties" I thought, "That'd be cool." At the same time I also thought, "That might be insane." I had never been to a midnight release of anything. I didn't think much of it until a day or two before the release when David brought up the idea of going to Borders for the release. He planted a seed. Up until the moment with left, the night of the release, I hadn't decided whether we should go. Actually, David almost had to push me out the door. He said, "It will be an adventure." I was the ho hum one thinking, "There aren't going to be any bracelets left (at Borders if you got a bracelet you got a DVD)," or "There's going to be a ton of people." Basically we missed the "party" that started at 10pm but were there with plenty of time for the release. We made our way to the counter, David asked if there were any bracelets left (yes, he even asked...not my scared self) and instead of getting a, "sorry we're out of bracelets," we got a, "Yes, we have bracelets. What's your name....." Yes!!! I got a bracelet. I got a bracelet. I hid my excitement well, but inside I was smiling.
We waited a bit, while all of the kids ran around the Borders store wreaking havoc, and the time came. I must admit I think they messed up with the actual release. I believe they were supposed to go in numerical order instead of just lining up randomly. But that's cool. Every DVD had a number on it, which lined up to each person's bracelet. By 12:15pm I had my DVD in hand, ready to call it a night.
Although receiving the DVD on the night of the release was special, I must say it wasn't the highlight. As I stood there waiting in line, I was thinking about the events of the night. Not only is David tolerant of me reading and watching the Twilight series, but he actual partakes in my joy. No, he hasn't read the book, but yes, he has watched the movie (twice) and he encouraged the idea of going to the release. This all after working a full day, getting off at 10:30pm, and standing in line with a bunch of awkward annoying tweens/teens. He was the only husband (that I could see) that attended the release. I may have been the oldest female there without a kid, standing in line with my husband, but I didn't care. I'm proud to be a Twilight fan and am the happiest woman in the world to have David as my husband. I've got my own Edward....his name is David. ;)
Monday, March 16, 2009
(No surprise, but I'm late to the party, as I found it was also used throughout the Obama campaign too....democratic convention, etc. Hmph. Ah well, better late than never.)
Sunday, March 15, 2009
Of course I didn't expect a choir to sing out or balloons to fall in celebration, but I did hope for a sense of relief or.....something. I have to admit that I feel no different than the day before I got my license. It's just weird. As I stated in a previous post, my college experience/graduation was unconventional. I can only interpret my reaction, or nonreaction for that matter, because of that. I graduated, but with no pomp and circumstance, then 2 months later received a piece of paper they call a diploma. At that point signing up and passing boards was on my mind. I signed up, studied, and then took boards 3 months later. There was no relief at that point because I didn't know if I had passed. Then another 2 months and I received notification that I passed. A week later I received my license. The whole experience wasn't exactly a whirlwind...it was dragged out over 6 months.
I'm glad, thrilled, happy that I passed and I am now licensed. Given I've worked toward this for approximately 7 years, I better be content, right? Damn, 7 years. You know, I could've been a doctor......BUT, that's beside the point. Considering I did that while moving between 3 states, changing jobs at each move, paid everything all out of pocket, without loans, while working a 40+ hour work week, at an almost full-time school schedule, I should be proud. I am. I just wish there was that huge sense of relief I had been looking for. Guess I've just been decompressing over the passed 6 months and am already geared up for a new challenge to present itself. Soon enough.
Monday, March 09, 2009
Three Jobs I have had in my life:
1. Cobb’s Ice Cream
2. Walmart Cashier
3. Vet Tech
Three Places I have lived:
1. Sandusky, Ohio
2. New Orleans, Louisiana
3. Warren, Michigan
Three TV Shows that I watch:
1. College Football – not by choice
2. NFL Football – not by choice
3. NBA Basketball – not by choice
Three things I am good at:
1. Being on time
3. Taking care of the furry kids
Three places I have gone on vacation:
Three places I WANT to go on vacation:
Three cars I have leased/owned:
1. Ford Tempo
2. Ford Explorer
3. Cevy Aveo
Three people that text me regularly:
2. Co Workers
Three of my favorite foods:
1. Ice Cream/Cake
Three of my favorite movies:
1. Dirty Dancing
3. While You Were Sleeping
Three things I am looking forward to (short-term):
1. Going to Florida
2. Training for a
3. Working outside
Three Things I am looking forward to (long-term):
2. Growing old with David
3. Reaching all of my items on my D.R.E.A.M. list
Three things in my purse/wallet/bag right now:
Three websites I frequent daily:
2. twilight sites
Three places I love to shop:
1. I don’t like to shop – Borders?
2. TJ ?
Three of my favorite drinks:
2. Malibu Rum w/ pineapple juice
Three things I just can't stand:
2. Gray area – needs to be black and white
3. Ignorant people
Three things I am wearing right now:
Three things I love about myself:
1. Perfectionist – love/hate relationship
2. I do well in my
3. I’ve graduated from college (not with debt), married, lived in 3 different states, and happy all before the age of 25. I have a long life to live and am looking forward to it.
Three things I have struggled with in the last year:
1. finding a happy medium of all my activities
2. trying to be patient
3. trying to keep OCD in check
Three ways I like to spend my free time:
Three things I have always wanted to do (and have NOT done just yet):
1. Go on some sort of missionary trip
2. Travel across the US in an RV
3. Travel through europe
On a side note, this was my first major medical experience while being a tech. It definitely changed my perspective on the whole experience. I am also surprised to say that although I respect all individuals in the health care field for what they do, I found that they are so limited in their knowledge outside of their specific field. I'm not saying they're stupid by any means...that's far from the truth. They know what they're doing. But, for instance, the nurse didn't know what tubes were used for what lab test until the phlebotomist came in and collected more blood and explained. Not to toot my own horn but I do all of those things, know how to do them, why I do them, all on multiple species while getting bit, scratched, and kicked…..and at a fraction of the income of just one of those professions. Ha! Sad, but I remind myself that I don't do it for the money.
Replaying Friday in my head, things start to become clearer, but so much of the day was a blur, especially after my procedure. I have many "black spots." Here are some bits and pieces I remember.....
I remember being wheeled into surgery, talking with the anesthesiologist about what induction agents we use in animals, and seeing my x-ray on the viewer, but after that it was a blur.
I remember having a smile on my face waking up and wanting ice chips so bad, but they wouldn't give them to me.
I remember waking up from anesthesia and hearing the nurse talk to me saying, "those are your flowers over there, don't let me forget them...."
I remember talking to the nurse about my ekg and what normals are. Now, any normal person wouldn't care what their ekg said, but me, yep I wanted to know...I was watching the complexes, making sure they were normal and making sure my SPO2 levels were good.
I remember being wheeled to recovery 2, flowers in my hand, smiling, and waiting for medication to kick in. My medication kicked in, my mom arrived, and I was out for the count.
I woke up having to urinate very badly, had to walk to the bathroom and remember feeling the intense burn.
I remember getting in the car, getting home, and eating a frosty, but I don't remember waiting in the drive thru for the frosty.
I remember thanking Randy and Shannon for the flowers (you guys rock!).
I also remember calling my boss and speaking to him saying I was going to be in on Monday, but I have no idea what else I said. Talk about drunk dialing!
I remember eating a Weenie Hut baked potato and thinking it was the best thing ever. And even better, I kept it down.
I remember hearing mom and dad talk about things but it didn't register until a couple days later when they repeated themselves, and it rang a bell.
I remember being surrounded by love. My couldn't figure out how to use the camera to take pictures. It was set on video so she was able to take this short clip. Viking had jumped off of the couch for the moment, but all evening I had 4 of our 5 kids in my presence, guiding me through recovery. You can't say I live a lonely life, that's for sure.
I decided long ago that drugs weren't for me. Experiences like this seal the deal. I can't imagine how people go through their lives on drugs. It's crazy. Of course, I'm definitely a "lightweight" when it comes to side effects and potency but man oh man, they get me and get me good. Not only did the pain medications and sedative kick me in the ass, but my post-op meds have continued to do so too. 2 of the medications call for dizziness and blurred vision as possible side effects. Needless to say I was blessed with this possible side effect. So since surgery I haven't been able to read a thing. I've been going crazy. Can't read books, can't go on the computer, can't keep my eyes open to watch tv, I can't drive, and can't run. Not to mention I've been in my own little world and my body constantly wants to eliminate. Gah! I was finally able to go back to work today, but having limited eyesight hindered that a bit. After a quick call to the doctor he said I could get off the meds. My eyesight is getting better by the hour, but on the flip side a bit of discomfort has come. I'm not in pain, just a bit uncomfortable.
So where does that leave me? Well, Wednesday I go for a follow up. I highly doubt I'll have any info on my stone analysis then but we shall see. This may be a once in a lifetime thing, it may be a congenital thing, or it may be a diet thing. Only results and time will tell. I pray that I'll be able to get back to my normal lifestyle and self as soon as possible. If not I may just go crazy!
Saturday, March 07, 2009
Upon David waking up we attempted to call the urologist. They said in order for them to see me I'd need a referral from my family doctor. Unfortunately there was answer at my doctor's office. At that point I knew I had to go back to the ER. Due to David's schedule, he dropped me off at the hospital. I was soon entered, started to receive fluids anti-emetics (anti-vomiting) and pain meds. Within moments of being seen my cell phone rang and the person left a message. It was the urologist calling to get me "right in." That's when everything turned into a whirlwind. The ER doctor came in saying that the urologist just called and they wanted to go into surgery at 3pm. Say what? Guess I wasn't going to pass this stone on my own. The usual thinking is, hydrate and give the stone time to pass. However, with my blockage, oftentimes the fluids totally bypass that kidney and choose to go to the other kidney, which doesn't help a thing. Of course I didn't fight the decision that they recommended, surgery. I was soon transferred to the surgery preop area and waited me turn for surgery.
Thankfully the surgery didn't require any incision. Basically, they place me under deep sedation (almost anesthesia, but not) and then insert a scope to investigate the problem. Upon visualizing the stone they remove it. If necessary, they use a laser to break it apart, then remove the fragments. In my case it was found that my left ureter was swollen shut and that's why the stone wasn't moving, so the surgery was definitely a good idea. We don't know if it was swollen due to the trauma or if it's my anatomy. Either way, he had to dilate the ureter and remove the stone. A stint was placed to keep everything "open and flowing." I went to recovery and by 8pm I was home resting. Here's a drawing the doctor made..... the ureters come down to the bladder, which then empties into the urethra. The box on the ureter is showing where the swelling was.
I feel MUCH better. I can't even describe how much better. The only discomfort I had yesterday evening was a bit of stinging pain upon urination. But hell, if they place something up there, you know you're going to get raw and inflammed, causing discomfort. That pain is waining and now the only discomfort I have is just a bit of abdominal pain (due to trauma) and the feeling have having to urinate more. But, I'll take this over Thursday night any day! All of this is normal and thankfully, with meds, I'm feeling more comfortable as time goes on. I'm alive and well. Thank you to everyone for their kind thoughts and energy. It was greatly appreciated. Although we're planning on laying low this weekend, we still plan to do a little celebrating for passing my boards. It's been an interesting week, that's for sure!
Thursday, March 05, 2009
Congratulations! We are pleased to inform you that your total raw score for the January 16, 2009 VTNE was at or above the minimum passing score of 117 reccommended by the American Association of Veterinary State Boards for this administration.
You know what that means???? I PASSED! Woooooot!!!!! And the best thing, I don't have to take it again in June. It goes on about my scores, etc. But all I had to read was the first word and I knew. My abdominal pain won't allow for a happy dance, so I'll settle for a mental one....for now. I've already got the ball rolling on my application to become a Registered Veterinary Technician in Ohio....background check and transcripts sent.....now I can actually send in my application.
I laid there thinking, "do I wait to call the doctor? or go to the ER?" I figured, I'll have to wait longer for the doctor and he'll more than likely send me to the hospital anyway. So we got up and moving and headed to the ER. Once again, for those that know me, I absolutely hate going to the hospital. I don't have a problem with needles or pain, it's more the waiting and the cost that comes along with it. I don't even want to think about the cost.....That and what if something serious really isn't going on? I'd look like a total idiot going to the ER for gas.
We arrived and the ladies in reception looked at me, didn't say a word, and looked at me like I had 3 heads. I couldn't help but think, "Am I in the wrong place?" I was in the right place and thankfully got right in upon registering. Actually everything went quite smoothly. The nurse came and got me, I saw the doctor, he did an examination, they took blood, took urine (via catheter....yeah, that's a first and not fun). After a decent wait the results came back showing nothing....one of my greatest fears. You can't help but think, "a\Am I a hypochondriac?" But I reminded myself, I knew something was wrong. I wouldn't be here if there wasn't. Even though my urine came back fine they were concerned about kidney stones. (which is a good possibility since mom has a history) So it was on to a cat scan and xray. Another long wait, and then my results came back.
Yep, that's my diagnosis. A partially obstructing kidney stone. They can only figure that I've been dehydrated, then running while dehydrated, which has lead to the problem. I know I don't drink enough and David is CONSTANTLY on me saying, "You need to drink more!" The thing is, I already urinate a ton and often. Anytime I add more fluids to the mix I'm literally in the bathroom every second of the day and sometimes I don't even think I can make it on time!
I've had this pain on and off for a couple years....this has been the most intense experience. I've been seen by the doctor for it before, but when time came for diagnostics (at a later date due to their scheduling) my symptoms were gone, so I'd always cancel. I'm wondering how many stones I've passed in the past or if the present little booger has been around a lot longer.
So, that's the deal. My current treatment plan is pain medication, lots of oral fluids, and straining my urine to collect anything. Fun times. Then I'll follow up with the urologist. I can only imagine what my bill will be, even with having insurance. Thankfully we no longer have the HSA! But that's a worry for a different day. Onward to hydration....
Wednesday, March 04, 2009
I woke up this morning with a lower left side abdominal pain. The first thing I thought was, "it's gas." I know, TMI, but whatever. But that proved not to be the case. The pain has persisted all day long. Thankfully HOT baths have helped and I've been able to lay in such a manner that allows me to sleep through the discomfort. Also, thankfully our appointment schedule was super light and I have available sick time to be able to stay home. If you know me, I don't take sick time off of work. As it stands I have approximately 40 hours of sick time earned/saved. I just don't like to take off....not to mention I've been quite healthy. (knock on wood)
I've hunkered down today in hopes of allowing the pain to go away and against my mother's wishes I did not go to the doctor. I have absolutely no idea what the pain could be emanating from, but I'm going to try to be patient. I was all excited when I woke up from a nap and the pain was entirely gone. That was until I moved to get up and it came back with a vengeance nearly doubling me over in pain. But, that's okay. I'm fine.
With that being said, I will not make it to the gym today. A defeat in my new plan? I guess so but I know when this girl's in too much pain to go to work, she's in too much pain to go to the gym.
Tuesday, March 03, 2009
Getting back to this schedule hasn't been encouraged by my past 2 days at work. They've been long and stressful. Then my legs were sore today for some reason. My body was telling me not to run, but I said, "forge on!" Next, I remembered I had a doctor's appointment after work, which made another speed bump along the way. And lastly, I got to the gym to find that the high school was having a basketball tournament. Actually, I knew they were having the tournament, but didn't know that they were planning on charging for parking. Now, I could have just paid, but considering I don't pay any other day, I wasn't going to the tournament, and I'd still have to park in BFE, I passed on paying. Thankfully David works at the school....after finding him we drove around the school to find an open, and free, parking spot, then he let me in another door given that he has a set of keys for the entire school. I entered the gym to find it dark and quiet. Ahhhh, that's what I like. Just me, my music, and the 'mill. As I stretched a new song on my playlist started pounding in my ears...."Jai Ho".....I was ready to go.
A couple weeks ago my mom watched Slumdog Millionaire. Ever since she has encouraged me to watch it. Really, I had no interest in it, but she drove me to watch it saying, "You got to see the last dance scene....." So David and I saw it last week. I won't go into details about the movie, but I will say it was worth the watch and I highly recommend for others to see it. And the dance scene....yep, mom was right, I loved it. After seeing it I had to get the music. Actually, all of the music from the movie is excellent. Totally eclectic and not necessarily something I'd regularly listen to, but I love it. Many of the songs were written/performed by A. R. Rahman, including my favorite, "Jai Ho." Of course I have no idea what they're singing given it's Hindi and Spanish, but after doing some research, according to Rahman, Jai Ho means "May Victory Be Yours." I find that very powerful and inspiring.
So as the music began pounding in my ears I couldn't help but think that even with roadblocks trying to prevent my going to gym today, whether mental or physical, victory was mine. I was at the gym, keeping my promise to myself. You'd be surprised what a little perseverance will do.
Video from Oprah's Oscar Party
Video Of The Dance
Sunday, March 01, 2009
Okay, enough about that and on to the real story. We were sitting having our taxes done, just about to print them out to finish up, when we here a big boom, bright sparks flying outside, and the power goes out. The entire complex lost power. Yep. Thankfully the computers had enough backup to save our tax information, and there were no other people having their taxes prepared, but our tax preparation came to an immediate halt. Upon investigation it looked like a helium balloon hit a conductor (?), which caused the problem. We have no idea where the balloon came from, but it was enough to make issues for the surrounding area. We waited around for a bit, but ended up running a few errands before heading back to see if everything was up and running again. It was. So, mission accomplished....our taxes are done, and in David and Heidi fashion.....never a dull moment.