I had this afternoon off. I had no set plans other than having Sita over so I can be her guinea pig for learning a new massage technique. The rest of the afternoon was allowing myself to chill. Although we haven't been busy at work (economy) it's hard not to come home exhausted. It's also no surprise that I feel I constantly have to be doing something. Checking something on the Internet, running, cleaning. I can only guess that I'm getting spring fever, but this anxiety is driving me nuts. I just wanted to relax, or at least try. So I sat. And sat some more. Then debated whether to run. I had absolutely no desire to go to the gym to run. I noticed the sun had come out so I figured running outside was an option. Weather.com said it was 34 degrees but my house readout said 53 degrees. I figured I'd be fine. Why not start my fun run series today?
I told David my dilemma and idea about fun runs last night. He was supportive...at the same time all is said was, "You know it's not always about the distance and speed. Just run to run." Ding! Ding! Ding! That's it! So simple, but hearing it made so much sense.
I'm a numbers person. A person that likes black/white. Of course there's a time and a place for this thinking. Unfortunately having this mindset all of the time can kill you. Kill in the sense of life experiences and just plain happiness. I've known this all along, but as I get older and time goes on I'm realizing it more. I don't know if I can change myself. I've been this way for so long it's going to be hard and darn near impossible. Any changes will be small and take time, but it's worth the venture and attention.
So....back to my first fun run.....I jumped in a pair of shorts, an under armour, laced up, and grabbed my pepper spray. I headed out with no gadgets or unnecessary extras. No Garmin, no iPod, no Bondi Band, no sunglasses, no SPIbelt, no cell phone. In other words, just like when I started running. I had no set route or set distance. I just went. Ahhhh, it was nice. I listened to my surroundings and more importantly my body. Don't get me wrong, I love listening to music and I can also have thoughts at the same time, but having my ears free to hear while having thoughts fill my brain, I loved it. I couldn't look at my Garmin to see how far I'd gone or how fast I was going. Once again, I just went the speed that felt good.
I came back with a good sweat, feeling revived, and just good. I'm digging my fun run idea. This was a great reminder that sometimes you need to take a step back to move forward.