Here We Go, One More Time, Everybody's Feeling Fine

I have finally put my foot down on myself. (Or atleast I'd like to think so) I've actually made it out to run multiple times within this past week. Say what?! You heard right. And thankfully, although runs are never all that pleasant, things are falling back into place quicker than expected. Pretty cool. I'm not busting out any crazy mileage or speed. Just taking it easy and taking it as it comes. I'm hoping to keep my motivation up and to stay healthy so I can keep running. I kind of laugh at that statement given I'll never be 100% healthy. Hmmmm, what would be a better way to restate that? I'm hoping to keep my motivation up and use that to overcome discomfort and any mental blocks. Better? Sounds good to me.

Changing subjects, but not really.....I'm doing pretty well with my endo. There's no doubt that it's there on a daily basis, but for the most part I can deal with it. As for the bills, well, they're still a comin'. I'd like to say I can see an end since I've met my "out-of-pocket," but by the time I even get close to paying it off the new calendar year will start. What does that mean? I start all over from $0 paid towards my deductible/out-of-pocket. Although David's insurance isn't perfect, it's better than mine. I'd love to be on his plan, but if my job offers coverage I have to take it...my job does offer coverage. I could add his as a secondary insurance but that would be an additional $100+ a month. Ouch. We're trying to weigh the pros and cons, and believe it'd be best to pick it up as secondary, but when you don't have that $100 to fork over every month (no matter if you're healthy or not), it's not going to happen.

Enough about money/insurance woes. I'm happy to be back out pounding pavement and will take advantage of the high it's giving me.

Dance, Even If You Have Nowhere To Do It But In Your Own Living Room

Dancing is a release for me. I've been known to turn music on and dance around the house on a nightly basis....even if I'm alone. (Although our pets make excellent dance partners) I've also been known to watch choreographed dances online and teach myself the steps. (Gotta love YouTube) And you know if there's dancing going on, I'll be there......Even if it's after a 5K run:While on our cruise last year one of the activities coordinators knew me as the "Dancing Queen." I'm guessing that because I joined in every dance activity I could. From line dancing on the pool deck to the 70's Dance Party...... I've had many occasions when people have asked me, "How much have you had to drink??" And everytime I say, "Nothing." Ha! Do I look that bad?! Meh, who cares. If music is on, you'll probably see me bobbing my head, and soon enough it probably won't be too long before I start to bust out in dance. I'll admit, I'm not the best dancer in the word, but I find it enjoyable. I get in my own little world and am as happy as can be.Today's thought of the day.....

Post Op

I had my post-op check today for my laparoscopy. All looks well and I checked out fine. I got to "ooh and ahh" at pictures from the procedure. It was nice to speak with the doctor and confirm that yes, the pain I've been feeling is truly endometriosis....I pointed where the pain was and he said, "Yes, that's the exact spot where it was located on your bladder." So, how am I feeling? Meh. Better than before, but I'll admit that I have moments or even days when the pain doesn't want to let up.

As I stated previously, there's no cure for this. But, I was able to talk to my doctor about treatment options. The main thing is that although birth control is no longer needed in our situation, staying on it helps to control the endo and limit the discomfort. Instead of taking a week off each month I'll stay on it constantly for 4 months, then take a week break, then back on for another 4 months. As with anything, there are side effects and it may not work, but it's worth a try. Another option is Lupron. The short explanation of how this would work: it'd put me into menopause. Given my mild symptoms this is currently not a treatment option I'd like to venture into. But it is available. And then, of course there's further laparascopy as a treatment. Basically, if I get very painful again, meaning there's further presence of endo, they'd go back in and do the procedure over, lasering endo and any adhesions. More than likely this will be something I'll have to do again in the future. I've met someone who's had 7 laparascopies. In addition to the treatments I have listed, there are other options. Through the help of others, I've found that many individuals use a combination of western and eastern medicine techniques to help their situations. As always, I'm open to my options and am willing to try different things.

So where am I at this moment? I will try to continue my life as I had previously done. I've also received clearance to run again (it's been about 2 months....yikes, I best ease into that again, eh?). Yes, I will have discomfort that I'll have to live with. If it gets worse I'll need to address it as necessary.

My big question....what will hit first next time.....kidney stones or the endo? Hmmmm. That's a concern of mine, how will I know which is which? According to my doctor the endo discomfort is more continuous and strengthening as time goes on, while the kidney stone would be more sudden. I know I'll be blessed in the future with both of these occurences. Only time will tell.

Rally Time

After 3 years in remission a close friend of ours was recently re-diagnosed with acute promyelocytic leukemia. To make a long story short the past few months have been grueling for him, his wife, and their two children. Tomorrow will begin a new step in his treatment process. He will be admitted for further chemo in preparation for receiving his brother's bone marrow.

I can only imagine their fears and anxieties to the unknown. Having witnessed my extended family go through this a few years back with my Aunt Cindy and her diagnosis of Acute Myelogenous Leukemia, it can be a scary time. I remember checking her blog multiple times in the day to get any little update. Being on the outside I felt there was nothing I could really do. However, through that experience, I think many of us found that although we couldn't do much, we could do some....by sending positive thoughts, energy, prayer, or kind thoughts. Having her in Cleveland and being limited to visitors due to her immune system, her blog made this all possible. As a family we simply rallied around her and her family in hopes of pulling them through that tough time.

Starting this post I wasn't really sure what I was going to write, or why, but I had an urge to do so. I believe the reason I am writing has come to me while writing. I'm hoping that anyone who reads this will rally around the Pohorence family, as we did just a few years ago with our family....visit their blog, post, or just take a moment out of your day to send positive energy or prayer.

I've Got My Eye On You

No surprise, but Viking has taken an interest in the birdies. Thankfully he just likes to keep an eye on them. Although he's looking straight forward I know that he's using her peripheral vision to watch them....he does the same thing when we eat. We find it funny because he tends to not blink and his eyes slowly close.

Sinking In

This morning was my first "down" time since my surgery/diagnosis. I could blame it on hormones, but I think it's finally kicking in that yes, I may be dealing with this chronic pain, permanently, most likely, for the rest of my life. The past three months have sucked, but I continued looking for a diagnosis and an answer to my problem. Something that would make it all better and make the pain go away. Fortunately, I have a diagnosis. Unfortunately, there's nothing truly to fix the problem. It's basically a crap shoot of trying multiple approaches, hoping something works for you. Even if it gives some ease momentarily.

My active life has been put on hold. I can only hope that this is short term and that someday I'll be able to be back running daily. Right now I'd just like to be able to return to my OCD self and keep up with my cleaning, without thinking, "Am I over doing it?" I've had someone with me 24/7 and am thankful for all of the help. (Love you mom, dad, and david!)

I'm going to continue with hope that my discomfort may ease as my incisions ease, however, that's not where most of my discomfort is coming from. The discomfort is coming from the same area where it was coming from pre-surgically. Since I've never been through this I didn't/don't know what to expect. Day-to-day I'm going blindly, based on my own personal research, grasping at any knowledge I can find.

I know this is a "down" day and acknowledge it. Some things will get better. But right now I'm still letting things sink in and wondering about all of the unknowns.

Birdies

In the midst of craziness of work, vacation, and my surgery it's been kind of brushed under the rug about a couple new additions to our household. Yes, we have added to our bunch. This time, birds. Long story short, David wanted a bird. We got not 1, but 2, parakeets. Cute little birdies. It's taken some time for them to get used to us, but we're on our way to having a good time. Without further ado, I introduce my girl (we think) "Tchoupitoulas" AKA "Tchoupi" and David's little guy "Chango."