Adventures Of Heidi And Mo'

David and I completed our motorcycle licensing examinations. Mostly it was uneventful. I had printed out the manuevers and practiced as much as I could. As for David, well, you know that's just not his thing. He can drive the scooter quite well, but when it comes it the actual testing manuevers....I'll leave that to your imagination. Neither of us had a perfect score but we passed and at this point that's all we wanted.

Before we left the house we had just under 1/2 tank of gas. I said to David we should probably get gas, but more than likely we'll be fine with the amount I have. That's the last we spoke of it. I'm not a person that plays what I call Gassy Gone. I never have less than a 1/4 tank of gas. I'm paranoid about that stuff.

The trip over to Norwalk, the closest testing station which is approx. 20 miles away, sucked to say the least. Our test was at 11am and David had to be to work at 12:30. In order for him to get there on time he drive his truck and I drove the scooter. At a temperature in the low 60's, a speed limit of 55 mph, and the windy wanting to whip my butt across Rt. 250, you can only imagine how uncomfortable I was. I definitely understand why bikers wear leather. Thankfully I had stowed a pair of knit gloves in my hoodie pocket which I quickly put on. That took care of my hands, but the wind whipping around my head was so loud, which made my ears hurt and deaf for the next several hours. Almost the feeling of leaving a loud concert. I was wearing my "Jackie O" sunglasses, meaning they were huge, but the wind still got around them and I could feel my eyes watering to the point of blurred vision and tears staining the lens. To top it off, as tight as my helmet was, it kept wanting to pull up, so I had to drive with my chin down as much as possible. I was so thankful when we arrived to the testing station, but was dreading the ride home.

We took our tests and headed back to Sandusky. On the way back I came up with the idea of going the back roads through Perkins into Sandusky to prevent the hard wind on Rt. 250. I turned down Mason Rd. and jetted off. I was surprised that David didn't follow me but didn't think much of it. I continued on the road and it seemed to take forever to get to where I thought I was going. It was the weirdest thing. I started to become lost. I don't become lost. As long as I can remember I was the family navigator telling the 'rents where to go from daily jaunts across town to jaunts across the country. I guess I was born with a sense of direction. Not so yesterday. For the first time in my life I wasn't sure where I was. I became inpatient so I turned down a road I had heard of before. Next thing I knew this road "hit" NASA Plum Brook, which followed around to another road. After I was on that road I saw Campbell St. I thought to myself, "I know Campbell St! I grew up on Campbell" I followed it. That road went from a good road, to a country road, to a country road overgrown with grass, to rock road, then to straight dirt, and finally a cornfield. Once again I had come into contact with NASA but figured I could follow the truck tracks I saw, around the site. Yep....no. I quickly found myself in the middle of a corn field, off roading poor Mo'. What was I doing? Put a visual in your head....Heidi, on a scooter, jittering around as I baja over rocks. I went up a hill and as I came down Mo' stalled. "What?! Don't you do this to me Mo'! There's gas it that tank!!" I attempted to get him started and he was having none of it. So there I was, in the middle of a corn field, with a stalled scooter, and lost as all get out. How did this come about?

I gave David a call to let him know what was up, but it wasn't like he could come to the rescue immediately as I had no idea where I was. All I could say was come out near NASA. In the meantime I has to try to get Mo' to a point where I knew I was. Mo's not that heavy but let me tell you, he's heavy enough and quite awkward. Put the awkwardness together with how heavy he actually is and I felt I was going to die as I tried to move him. I got out of the corn field. Then I hit that rocky area. Boy was that fun. I had to get a running start to get him over the rocks. I could only imagine what NASA security were doing as they were watching on the security cameras. By that point sweat was dripping and my legs were burning, and I wasn't even close to getting anywhere. I was stopped next to a cornfield and that's when my mind began to get the better of me. I had never watched Children Of The Corn but could only imagine what it was about. I just kept thinking, "Nothing better come out of the corn...." I also kept thinking, "This is the type of stuff horror stories are made of." You know....lost, stranded female, with a broken down vehicle. Great.

I finally made it to an actual roadway and a rural USPS carrier stopped to see if I was ok. We talked and he helped point me in the right direction. I called David to say where I thought I was. He was coming with some gas and the Aveo. At that point I wasn't 100% sure it was the gas, and was worried that if we couldn't start it then what would we do? We can't tow or haul it with the Aveo.

I turned a corner, believing I had made progress only to find that I had a ways to go. And let me tell you, country roads have some mean hills. Up and down, up and down. My legs were screaming at me and then I'd hit the top of the hill and the scooter would want to go faster than I could run. All I could think was, "I didn't run today so this will be my workout." And that I was thankful that I had a good breakfast at Bob Evans so that I had enough energy for what I was doing. I couldn't believe what was happening. This is stuff that happens in movies, and not to me. I kept saying things over and over....things that aren't appropriate for this blog.

After hauling the scooter, which I believe was approximately 2 miles, I had gained my surroundings and was able to tell David exactly where to go. From my previous directions he was already heading my way so he was there within moments of my last phone call. He jumped out, we put gas in the tank and it still wouldn't start. After multiple tries it kicked in and started. He added a bit more gas and were ready to hit the road again. At this point it was 12:25. If you remember back, the whole point to me driving the scooter was so that David could get to work by 12:30. So much for that plan. I needed the car to go to Cleveland in the afternoon so we decided that I'd follow him to work and then we'd switch out. David made it to work just a few minutes past his start time, but there were no problems since he had called in to let them know.

This is stuff that you just can't make up. Thinking back, had I continued on the same road I was originally on, for just a few more miles I would have been fine. David thought nothing of me turning off. He thought I was stopping to get gas, not taking another route. Obviously the gas situation wouldn't have changed. But I'll tell you this, I'm not going to trust the gas gauge again. That sucker said I still had a bit of gas. I definitely wasn't on "E." Ah well. It was a pain in the ass and a very trying moment in my life. But I've lived to tell it and I got to say that it does bring a smile to my face. Hopefully it will bring a smile or even a laugh to you too.