Last weekend we went to Crocker Park. For those that don't know what Crocker Park is, think upscale-ish, outdoor shopping mall, with decent restaurants, in a nice area. We like to go there every so often. It's a small change of pace for us.
Being winter, I was quite bundled up. Being me, I was wearing brighter colors. To put it in perspective....I had my longer green wool coat on, my orange purse, multi-colored scarf, and a multicolored handmade hat from my grandma (that I love!) I didn't think much of my outfit. I liked it, it was "me," whatever.
But, no surprise, others didn't dig my style. Here's the story.......we're at Crocker Park, David and I separate from each other to shop, I see him a bit later, and try to catch up to him with a slight jog. In the process I pass two high school age boys. They bust out laughing and start making rude comments basically on the lines of my brightness and color coordination. What?! This is the shit I dealt with all through my school days. Are we still in high school? Oh wait! Yes, they still are in high school school. It took a lot in my to not stop and say something. But wanting to meet up with David I passed on the opportunity.
However, if I could/would have said something I would have said, "You can walk your little hoity toity punk ass selves into your cookie cutter Abercrombie where YOU don't choose what to wear....They do. Go ahead. Don't be an individual. Just be a number, like everyone else."
How I'm perceived by others, whether it's through my fashion, or anything else, is a constant mental battle I've had my entire life. It can tear down your self esteem. I remember vividly walking home in the 5th grade being made fun of by a 4th and 2nd grader for wearing a beret. They were younger than me but I was crushed. Later in junior high, although I was part of the "in" crowd, someone from the "in" crowd called me weird. I still had my circle of friends, but I can say that was the point where my alienation from the "in" crowd began. Not only was I hurt, but I found that I didn't need them. It's not that I strive to be different than others. I'm just "me" and it just happens, more times than not, that I'm different than those around me.
You know what? I don't have much fashion sense. However, I do know that I have always been, and will always be my own personal self. No one will take that away from me.
As for those high school kids at Crocker Park. All I'll say is, "Karma's a bitch."