Just Call Me Rainbow Brite

Last weekend we went to Crocker Park. For those that don't know what Crocker Park is, think upscale-ish, outdoor shopping mall, with decent restaurants, in a nice area. We like to go there every so often. It's a small change of pace for us.

Being winter, I was quite bundled up. Being me, I was wearing brighter colors. To put it in perspective....I had my longer green wool coat on, my orange purse, multi-colored scarf, and a multicolored handmade hat from my grandma (that I love!) I didn't think much of my outfit. I liked it, it was "me," whatever.

But, no surprise, others didn't dig my style. Here's the story.......we're at Crocker Park, David and I separate from each other to shop, I see him a bit later, and try to catch up to him with a slight jog. In the process I pass two high school age boys. They bust out laughing and start making rude comments basically on the lines of my brightness and color coordination. What?! This is the shit I dealt with all through my school days. Are we still in high school? Oh wait! Yes, they still are in high school school. It took a lot in my to not stop and say something. But wanting to meet up with David I passed on the opportunity.

However, if I could/would have said something I would have said, "You can walk your little hoity toity punk ass selves into your cookie cutter Abercrombie where YOU don't choose what to wear....They do. Go ahead. Don't be an individual. Just be a number, like everyone else."

How I'm perceived by others, whether it's through my fashion, or anything else, is a constant mental battle I've had my entire life. It can tear down your self esteem. I remember vividly walking home in the 5th grade being made fun of by a 4th and 2nd grader for wearing a beret. They were younger than me but I was crushed. Later in junior high, although I was part of the "in" crowd, someone from the "in" crowd called me weird. I still had my circle of friends, but I can say that was the point where my alienation from the "in" crowd began. Not only was I hurt, but I found that I didn't need them. It's not that I strive to be different than others. I'm just "me" and it just happens, more times than not, that I'm different than those around me.

You know what? I don't have much fashion sense. However, I do know that I have always been, and will always be my own personal self. No one will take that away from me.

As for those high school kids at Crocker Park. All I'll say is, "Karma's a bitch."

The Skinny

A couple months ago I broke down and got a couple "skinny" jeans. We all know these jeans don't make you skinny, they are just straight-legged. I didn't know if I could pull them off but figured that it's the way fashion is going. Not that I'm even close to being a fashionista, but I have to go with the flow given that the things I like won't always be around when fashion trends change.

I have always been a 100% cotton jean type of girl. They are comfy, super soft, and not too clingy. Well, when I took the skinny jean jump, I had to sacrifice my 100% cotton wants and give into the polyester, spandex, and other fabrics involved in the skinny jeans. I started wearing them and found that surprisingly, they were very comfortable. I couldn't believe it.

It's been weeks since I've worn "regular" jeans. I decided to go the more relaxed, sport look today and went back to the regular 100% cotton jeans. Yikes. I couldn't believe it. Could it be that my skinny jeans are more comfortable than my regulars? Mind you, I'm not as thin as I was a year or two ago, and the regulars are smaller in side, so I have to take that into consideration. However, with 100% cotton jeans, no matter how I wash the jeans, I would go through the stretch out phase. I'm sure everyone knows what I'm talking about. When you put them on you have to do a few squats and lunges to stretch them out, and by the end of the day they are oftentimes so loose they are falling off. I don't have that with my skinny jeans. I put them on and they are comfortable.

I'm glad I gave the skinny jeans a try. I don't know if my body was made for the skinny jean revolution, but they comfortable, and as long as I'm comfortable, I'm good to go.

Shoes

David's work shoes bit the dust today. They were just regular ol' Adidas running shoes, but they were literally falling apart. As with so many things we've found it hard to swallow the ever increasing costs of day to day items. Anything we buy we want to be affordable and something that lasts. For instance we don't require brand names. If it works, then we're cool. Thankfully we were able to find a pair of shoes for David and they met his specifications. Affordable, reputable brand, comfortable, and no mesh (so funk from cleaning can't get to his feet). Needless to say he ended up with all "leather" black shoes.....you know, the kind that you'd hate as a kid....that "old or poor people would wear." But, they fit the bill and we were happy. As we were walking out to the car David asked, "Am I showing my age by getting these shoes??" Ha! Of course we're not old, but we had a good chuckle. It is true, as you get older things come into perspective much easier. Needs/wants, what's important/what's not.

Overrated

As time goes on, things change....I guess that's no surprise. I'm not exactly sure, but in the past few weeks I've found my thoughts, lifestyle trends, and general attitude changing. What I wear, how I see myself, how I see others see me, my goals, my priorities, what I feel is important.....they're all changing. I can't explain my thoughts or choices, as I'm still trying to wrap my brain around them. But I do know that I've been told many of times, "You'll go through many life changes." I can only guess this is one of those times. It's okay though. That's what makes life, well, life. We learn, we grow, we adjust as necessary.

I'm sure I can guarantee that I'll never be the calm, laid back, chill person. However, as time goes on I'm leaning that way. Maybe it's just David wearing off on me. It's not that I don't care about what I wear, or how people see me, or that I don't care about life. I think it's that I've found that certain things are overrated and aren't as important as people make them. I just have to find what matters to me, and go with it.

For instance, something so simple as wearing makeup. Yeah, I know simple and stupid. However in the scheme of things this is something I can actually put into words. I'm not a huge makeup fan. Thankfully David's not either. When it comes down to it, he'd prefer no makeup at all. Of course I've always worn something, just for the simple fact that "it's the thing to do." Shoot, it only took how many years to ask, "why the hell do I put something on my face, when A-I don't like it and B-my husband doesn't either?" I'm not going to say I'll never wear makeup but I have to admit, I'm not exactly sure when the last time I did was. And when I did it was eyeshadow. Last time I wore mascara and lipstick.....7 years ago, our wedding. Foundation and blush....well over a year ago. But you know what? I'm happy with that choice, even when the it's not the norm.

Times are changing. Thoughts are changing.

Personal Shopper

We all know that my fashion sense has gone out the door in the past few years. If the clothes aren't scrubs, running gear, jeans, or t-shirts, it ain't in my wardrobe. I think I posted this a few posts ago, but David and I totally have switched roles. Back in high school he was all about the jeans/jerseys look while I was the preppy dressed kid. Anytime David had a button-down shirt on people assumed I dress him (not true!) Speed up to today and I'm the one bumming while David is prim and proper, always matching, looking suave. Don't get me wrong, I'm comfortable in my own skin, but sometimes I feel like a total bum standing next to him. Of course that's my fault....I could come home and get all gussied up. Or on my days off spend a few extra minutes on myself. But it's just not going to happen. When you work 11 hours a day, 6 days a week, you get home and it's time for bed. And on my off time I'm going to spend time doing things I want instead of worrying what I'm going to wear. This idea goes all the way to my jewelry. I got a good collection of jewelry from right hand rings to necklaces, etc. Do I wear it? Nah. I can't wear it at work due to obvious reasons, but it's not like I'm going to come home and wear my "jewels" around the home.

So I've been dealing with this lately. I don't have all that many "nice" clothes. When it's come to the weekend I've been wearing t-shirts or sweaters. Obviously it's sweater weather and I only have about 5 sweaters. 3 of those are all the same style, just different color (hey, when I find something I like I buy one in every color), and are about 4 years old. Given that, they're looking pretty ragged. I can't ever justify buying regular clothes for myself because I feel so wasteful and they never get used, but I decided it was time for some new ones. So the adventure began. I absolutely hate shopping for myself. David, on the other hand, can shop all day. Mom, David, and I headed out to tackle the mission. Store after store it was a, "no. no. no." Nothing was working. Frumpy sweaters, ugly sweaters, and too expensive of sweaters. Oh yeah, not only am I picky when it comes to style, but I'm also a cheap ass. I will not spend more than $20 on a sweater. Call me crazy, but my last sweaters lasted 4 years and I didn't spend much on them. When you don't wear them that often I can't see spending a ton on them.

We finally get to TJ Maxx and within a few minutes I was done and ready to head to the next store. That's when Mom and David asked me to be patient and David produced not 1 but 3 sweaters that worked for me. Perfect fit, perfect price. So, in the future, I'm just going to send him out to do all of my shopping. Less stress and he has perfect finds. Yep, that's why he's my husband.

ETA: No big surprise but mom came through too! She ended up find a sweater online, on sale, and perfect for me. Knowing how I am she purchased 3, all different colors. Sweet!

New Go Fasters

New Kicks
Originally uploaded by heidihvt.

I got my first actual pair of running shoes for Christmas, from Mom and Dad. Now, you're probably thinking, "But you've been running for 8 months and have been wearing shoes. Aren't they running shoes?" Well, yes but technically no. The shoes which I started running in were trail/running shoes. When I got the running "bug" I needed shoes. Not really knowing what to do, mom and I went out and grabbed a pair that I thought would work. Little did I know what we were buying. But they worked and I was out running...that's all that I cared about.

When we went to Florida in September I saw these Asics and fell in love with them. Of course ya'll know me though, and I walked away from them. When we arrived back in Sandusky we happened to pass them at MC Sports here in town and my mom had me try them on. They felt perfect so mom got them but held onto them until Christmas. I know choosing running shoes shouldn't be about what they look like, but at least I'm moving in the right direction...next up, actually being fit for shoes. We definitely need to take a trip up to see Erika, KD, and the kids, and stop by Second Sole.

I can't believe the difference in them compared to my old shoes. So light and bouncy. I couldn't help but go, "Boing! Boing! Boing!" as I started to run tonight. In addition to feeling light and bouncy I had a personal best since I've had the Garmin. My median average pace is around 10:30-10:40/mile. (Yes, I know I'm slow). On a good day I get down to around 10:10/mile or slightly less. Well, today I hit 9:38/mile. Hot dang! (happy dance). My previous best was 9:47/mile at a shorter distance. I'm digging these recent "advances" that I've made in running. For the first time my speed is starting to pick up. I know it probably helps listening to music and having new shoes, but I can't help but hope that it's also my body finally coming together and accepting me running.

In other running news, on the recommendation of Erika, I ordered David's Pro-tec Patellar Tendon Straps, which should help stabilize both of his knees. We were upgraded to 2 day shipping so they should be here before we know it. Awesome. Gotta get geared up for our Half Marathon training! By the way, David agreed to running the Cleveland Half too. When I told him I was participating his response was, "What about me?!" Of course I'm up for him doing it and am glad that he wants to participate. We have yet to actually register as I need to contact my school. You see, my classes start May 12th and it's the semester I have go down to Texas for a week. Considering the run is on the 18th I should be safe because I would think that they wouldn't send me down there the 1st week of classes. You never know though. I hope to contact the school first thing after the winter break (Jan. 2nd) and see what they have to say. I'm sure they can't give me a definite answer given that it's a semester away, but I'm sure we can look at past year's schedules and see when it was done. Cross your fingers!

Complimentary crocs? Sweet!

Yesterday was filled with small little surprises. While at work I checked my email to find I had an email from our outside laboratory we use for work. Recently they've been offering classes in regards to specific diseases, how to test for them, and how to treat them. They offer something small like a scrub top or a water bottle when you finish the course. In addition, the courses count as free continuing education too (even though I don't need continuing education yet). I find them interesting and they tend to be short, sweet, and to the point. So, back to the email...for taking a certain number of their courses they offered me a complimentary pair of crocs to say "thank you" for taking the classes and filling out a one page survey. Can't complain about that! I had several choices of colors and once again I passed up the turquoise for ruby red. Ruby red is a new color and I'm hoping it's kind of like the grape where it's slightly metallic. We'll have to see. I'll get my turquoise someday. This will make 6 pairs for me. I think that's bordering on the point of madness. Ah well. I dig them.

Then a little later my supervisor came around checking for name tags and I had mine on. Once again, I got a dollar just like last time. This is only the second time she's done it and both times I've got a dollar. Hey, it's a dollar. It all spends the same and you get to glow for a moment when you receive it, thinking, "I did something right."

I got home from work and David said I got a letter in the mail. Say what? From who? I never get mail unless it's a bill. He said, "I think it's from John." Sure enough, Jacki's John sent a letter from Iraq. Cool! Who doesn't like to receive real mail??

Ah, so it was a good day. Little things that are rays of sunshine during the day. It doesn't seem like that kind of stuff happens all that much. More than likely they do but I just need to open my eyes, realize it, and be thankful.

Having taken Tuesday off, due to rain, I got it in my head that I wanted to run this morning. Of course last night David was surprised to hear that I wanted to run today. Usually it's his day to "sleep in" (if you call sleeping 'til 6am sleeping in) and I usually sleep later too. But since my schedule changed at work and every other Friday I work morning/have afternoon off or have morning off/work afternoon, I figured why not run today. I was planning on going by myself but David was a trooper and got up with me. Instead of going a 3 mile route we chose a shorter distance and ran like the wind. According to the Garmin our average pace was 9:47/mile. Whew! That's fast for me, considering my pace usually averages around 10:30/mile. Hey, I don't claim to be a speed racer. I'm not really focused on my time but recently it's been getting worse. David says it's probably because of the wind and adding more clothes to the routine. I don't know. But I do know that it's been harder for me to keep up with David. Trust me, that boy can run. I can only imagine what he'd be running if it weren't for me "holding" him back. So I'm proud of myself for keeping up with David today and just kickin' it out. It felt good. Tiring, make you think you can't make it, needing self-talk good. Good. Tomorrow's a day off then we'll be heading to Amherst to take part in the Skeleton Run For Your Bones 5k on Sunday. Looks like we'll have some pretty cool weather, but that will make it fun.

Hope everyone has a Fabulous Friday that leads into a Wonderful Weekend!

New Shorts....Again.

Today is my day to sleep in. Do you think I could?? Of course not. About 2 days ago my throat started having "that weird feeling". Yesterday I noticed it more and then last night I woke up in the middle of the night with a definite throat that was swollen and a slightly stuffy nose. Great. It's too early to get a cold. So at 7:30am my body couldn't sleep any longer and I came downstairs...took my vitamins and added Zicam, Vitamin C, and a glass of orange juice to the mix. I can only attribute getting a funk to over doing it. This week my body has been telling me to slow down but I don't listen. When I get off work I feel like I could literally fall down but by the time I get home it's as though I get my second wind and I'm ready to go. I've been struggling with some anxiety this week but can't pinpoint the source. In all honesty I think it has multiple sources including school and work. But along with my anxiety comes the need to clean the house. I never knew until recently that cleaning the house is a sign of my anxiety. I'm not talking just cleaning normal things, I'm talking about turning things upside down. Because I feel I don't have a sense of control over things around me, I clean because it's something I have control of. Weird, I know.

It seems like just yesterday I was telling you about how we had purchased David some new shorts that were a smaller size. The point was to get shorts and swim trunks before summer ended, to have them for our trip to Hawaii in December. Well, the time came once again, but finding shorts is close to impossible at this point. Everytime he goes down a size I ask him "Should you go one size smaller or atleast purchase one size smaller at the rate you're going?" And he looks at me as though I have 2 heads and says, "Heidi, I've never been that small, and never will be." Ha! But then within a couple weeks his shorts are ready to fall down even with a belt. Once again we're thrilled about this, but the cost of it hasn't been so enjoyable. As stated previously I'm glad that he doesn't require name brand shorts and will settle for the Levis at Walmart, but it still adds up considering we've been purchasing at least 2 pairs of shorts per month for the past couple months. And remember, he got one pair of jeans awhile back. We've decided he's going to settle with those until the real cool weather hits before purchasing another pair, considering he may be even smaller by then. Okay, so he needed more shorts and we were at Walmart so we looked. No go. Totally picked over and no options. I knew Old Navy wouldn't have any, as they were gone a couple months ago and that's why he had Walmart Levis. He thought that Kohls would have some but I disagreed since they had their labor day sales already and thought they'd have nothing. And he said that it was atleast worth a try. We arrive and headed toward the clearance racks. Found a pair. Oh, then another in a different wash! Then I was thinking, what about swim trunks? Just for the heck of it, I looked and found 2 decent pair. He went and tried them on. All perfect, and slightly snug, meaning he has room to loose if it happens. Whew! I was beginning to lose hope and thought we'd have to search the internet for shorts. I guess I was wrong about Kohls not going to have anything and I apologized to David. But wait, our story gets better. The swim trunks were both about $10, normally $40+ each. And one pair of shorts was $6 and the other $12, even though they were the same style, just different wash. When we checked out we thought it was worth a try to ask if they could honor the lower price for both considering those circumstances and the woman says, "Whatever makes you happy." Say what? Yep, so David got 2 pair of Levi shorts, normally $40 each for a total of $12. That's what I'm talking about. Now, of course I asked David if we should look at the size 32's and I got "the look" again. Only time will tell. I love that he's losing weight in a healthy way and that he's happy too, but I don't know if I can handle much more of this short dilemma on a monthly basis.

On a much lighter note....Go Buckeyes!

Shopping Woes

If you've read any of my previous posts you know that I have issues with shopping. I know what I want it's just trying to find it and finding that it fits right. So my latest issue is trying to find sports bras. Now I know most of you are saying, "TMI..." but I think the ladies will understand me on this one. I feel that I've been quite successful in finding appropriate running gear that also fits me well. However I do have several tops that are racerback. Now ya'll know you can't wear a normal-shaped bra with a racerback top. And some even have the bra built in, but trust me, there's not enough support. So here I am looking for sports bras that are not only racerback but that also fit me and are affordable in price. Do you think I can find any? Nah, of course not. So when did department stores stop carrying sports bras? And the ones I find at Kohl's, Target, etc. I feel are ridiculously priced or they don't have what I need. Then a new dilemma arises....I'm not entirely sure what size I am anymore.

Follow me on this one. I'm always had problems having bras fit me so David was so gracious as to take me to Nordstrom last year so I could be fitted properly. No wonder why I couldn't find bras to fit....they fit me as a 32D or DD. Yeah, you could've fooled me. And try to find that size on a rack in Victoria's Secret...not happening. So I had to splurge and spent $60+ each on 2 bras and then ended up picking up another 2 at a later date. Now according to the people at Nordstrom you should replace your bras every few to 6 months. Yeah, at $60+ a pop, that's going to happen. So I still have the ones I got last year but I've been noticing that they're not fitting me as well as they were before? Could it be? I'm shrinking? Can I get a Hallelujah?! Well, they say that's one of the first things to go when you start exercising. But once again, that sends me into a tailspin. Now, not only do I need to find sports bras but also regular ones too. Geez. And in just another month I'll need to find cold weather running gear. Thank God I don't mind shopping, but trust me, I'd rather shop for others and not myself.

So tomorrow, after our 4.5 mile run (yikes) and working in the morning I think we may head up to Crocker Park and check out Dick's Sporting Goods. It sounds like a good idea to get out of town and Dick's is always a fun place to go (can't wait for ours to open). And to be quite honest I'm sick of going to MC Sports and Dunhams. Any other stores that anyone would recommend? We can also spend some time at Borders and Barnes and Noble on our little jaunt. Sounds good to me. Now, hopefully David will be able to get away from work tomorrow....

They've Been Ordered

Yes, the time has finally come. I placed an order for my orange crocs today. I'm excited. I also placed an order for David too....yellow crocs. He was planning on waiting for the NFL Vikings crocs to come out...but he can't wait any longer. We'll just have to get the Jibbitz when they come out. Needless to say, you'll be able to see us coming from a mile away. This will make for my 4th pair of crocs. I'm so freakin' excited.

Shopping Etiquette

Got a story for you. I was sent to get things from Walmart today for work. Now most of you know that I'm a speedracer when it comes to shopping. I know where I'm going, why I'm going there, and how I'm getting there. However, at the same time I feel that I'm quite respectable of others and I may even take a longer way around as not to disturb someone else's shopping experience. In addition, I try to smile at others while I'm passing them. I know this isn't a big deal. But I think to myself..."What if this is the only smile they receive today? At least I can give them that one and that it may change their entire day." Maybe not...but at least I can think that, right? So on with the story. Within the first aisle I had to move out of other people's way. Not a big deal. You know, they are where you want to go so you pick up your cart and scoot it over to the side so they can come out and you can go where they are. They apologize. I smile and say "no problem." Then I continue on. So I just start to pick up some speed and come to an "intersection". I slow down as to not hit anyone, I peak out and see 1 older woman I will be merging with onto the her aisle. I quickly jut out and speed up as to not get in her way. Well come to find out there was another woman who I didn't see that she was with, right next to her. Omigosh. I must have offended them so badly.....for the next 10 aisles all I heard was "JEEZ! Someone is in a hurry. How rude can she be?" pick pick pick on me. Now remember, I was trying to be the nice person and stay out of the way. I'm thinking, "Wait you're thinking I'm rude when you're sitting there saying all these rude comments loud enough for me to hear?" It took so much in me not to turn around and say something. But my reality kicks in and I remind myself....I'm in work gear, shopping for work things. That wouldn't be appropriate. Then I think, "What would I say?" I don't want to make an idiot out of myself and stoop to their level. So I just remind myself, "the Lord will bless them according to their deeds." And I continue on throughout my day. I'd just like to make a friendly reminder that we all must be aware of what we're doing when we're shopping. Now mind you, I'm not the perfect shopper. But am I the only one who can't stand the lolly gaggers who you think are out to get you and get in your way? Or the people that stop in the middle of the aisle to carry on an entire conversation? What about those that are in the aisle and leave their cart on the opposite side of the aisle in which they are looking...which means they block the aisle with their cart and their body while they try to figure out what the heck kind of cereal they want. And this alert also goes to my fellow speedracers that ram their cart into yours. In addition to the shopping experience I would also like to remind our elders that as much as you think us younger people are rude and inconsiderate we oftentimes see you in the same light of being rude and prude. I'm not trying to offend anyone here but as stated earlier it's always nice to have that little voice in your head remind you not to judge those around you and to instead try to understand them. Okay. I'm done with my story and lecturing. Have a great weekend y'all!

The Perfect Jean

Mom and I had a wonderful day together yesterday. We ended up not only going to Strongsville but also Great Northern. Due to her testing in the morning we didn't leave until around 11:00 but it left us plenty of time to have a good time. We really weren't looking for anything inparticular. I tried on a few dresses here and there, stopped in Hollister and figured I'd try a pair of their jeans. The size 7 was pretty tight not to mention super long. So I was going to try the 9, but there weren't any without holes, not to mention I'm sure they'd be even longer. And Short/Ankle fit are just too short. Then we went to the GAP and I figured, "hey, why not try on some of their jeans. It's been awhile since I've tried them on...." So I did. Maybe I should explain at this time that I have a HARD time finding jeans/pants to fit me. For instance I've been looking a year for a pair of jeans. And I just keep going back to the American Eagle Hipster Flare 100% cotton. They're okay, but it's nice to have a different "style" every so often. It's frustrating because I'll get on this kick and want to find a new pair of jeans and then I get so depressed about it and I just have to say to myself, "why are you doing this? go back to american eagle and get the usuals." You can only imagine what David and my mom go through during these times. Anyway, I found a great pair, but with holes! Can anyone explain the hole thing to me? Why would you pay about $60 for a pair of jeans that already have holes? I'm young, I should understand this right? Not at all. I like to put my own holes in my jeans after wearing them for a few years! Alright, so the woman tried helping me out because I didn't want any stretch in them and I didn't want totally light ones either. No go. She gave me a few more to try on and they just didn't work. So mom wanted to go to Great Northern so we headed over there. Stopped at the GAP and were looking around. The workers at this store will not let you be....they keep asking you over and over, "can I help you? are you finding everything okay" I stopped by the jeans and was slightly irritated with everyone bugging me that my mom and I were about headed out he door when another girl said "are you sure you don't need any help" (she must have been able to tell the look on my face) and my mom spoke up "we want a specific pair of jeans but we're not sure you have them" So the girl took us over there and was pulling about 20 pairs of jeans off the shelf explaining them all to me and how they fit. She started with size 6 and I just looked at her and said, "we may need to try the 8's too" So I started trying them on and there it was. The oh so perfect pair of jeans. Actually, they were slightly large so I had to get a 4! What?! A perfect pair of jeans and a size 4 in one day! What do I owe the honor of this to? I must say that I had to sacrifice the 100% cotton thing I wanted...but they're 99% cotton and 1% lycra....I'm good to go as long as they're not spandex. So I ended up getting 2 pairs, because you know that in a year I probably won't be able to find them again. That's another thing I don't understand....they have about 8 cuts of jeans, then each has a about 20 different shades and each of those shades are a different make up of fabric, so you're not really sure what you got, because they don't have numbers or anything. So when you find the perfect jean you can never find it again. Ah well, I don't have to worry about that because right now I have the perfect jean. Thanks mom for a great day...I had fun and it was nice to spend time together!