Monday, October 13, 2008

This And That

Sometime, okay all the time, I have random thoughts. Most times Twitter is good for sounding those thoughts, but not all the time. Some thoughts require more than 140 characters. I make a mental note to blog about it later and never seem to get around to it. So here I am, it's time to blog about this and that.....

~Throughout the cruise I noticed many things. The main thing is the generalized aura of it all. Things that you'd hope to be "normal" but things aren't like that any longer. For instance, everyone being nice. I'm not just talking about the crew but also the other passengers. You pass individuals in the hallway, they smile, say "good morning!" and move on. Of course you run into the usual crabby person every once in awhile, but for the most part everyone is happy go lucky. I'm guessing that this is because everyone's on vacation, but even so, it's something I've never really experienced. Not to mention everyone let's loose...things you'd never dream they'd do, they do. i.e. participating in contests. And not only do people participate but they ham it up and it's hilarious. Another take-the lack of cell phones and computers. With the exception of the computer lab most everyone is unplugged. Straight up, I wasn't worried about not being "connected" but it did cross my mind before leaving for vacation. After getting on the ship, the cell phones were turned off, not to be thought of again until we got back in Florida (with the exception of calling home in St. Thomas to check on the kids). There was no checking the email, twittering, searching the internet, or hearing cell phones go off at dinner or during the show. I can't believe I'm saying this, but it was almost a relief being unplugged. When we hit port in Florida everyone's phones popped out and it was back to the same ol' business. It was that point when I knew vacation was over. Not only was I bummed vacation was over but I knew it was inevitable I'd soon be back to the same ol' crap myself. It's something I know I overdo and need to keep in check every once in awhile. Not only for the sake of those around me but also my own sanity. With my compulsive personality it's often hard. Instead of being a "want," in my mind it becomes a requirement...I got to check/post this or that.

~For some strange reason I still get homesick after all of these years. It doesn't hit me until a few days in, and usually I have to ask myself, "What's wrong?" because I'm just in a funk, but after a few moments I realize that it's just homesickness.

~I used to LOVE going to the beach, swimming, enjoying the sun. I got to say that that time has come and gone. I much more prefer a pool. Fresh water is usually too cold and murky and salt-water is, well, salty, and leaves my skin feeling sticky. If I could have the prettiness of the salt water with the clean feeling of fresh water it'd be perfect. In addition, I hate sand. I can walk on sand with no problem, but mix sand and water and I'm done. It's not like the actually feeling of the sand drives me nuts, but it's the thought of sand sticking to me and getting all over my stuff that drives me absolutely insane. Sitting here thinking about it makes me fingers on a chalkboard. I expected to snorkel a lot on vacation, but once I got there, my thoughts change. The gear wasn't fitting just right, the water wasn't all that warm (@ CoCoCay. It was warmer than Hawaii, but not perfect. The water got warmer at each location), then the sand and water...yep, I enjoyed my time soaking up some sun, drinking a CoCo LoCo, taking pictures, and watching others enjoy the snorkeling.

~As stated previously, it's been hard to get fire under my butt to run lately. I can't even say lately, this has been going on since May. Not only that, but I'm having issues watching what I'm eating. It's not that I'm eating more, I'm just eating the wrong stuff. I've become so complacent that I'm frustrated with myself. I can't say it's the Zoloft anymore, as I'm off of it, even though I think that's what spurred it initially. I'm not sure if it's because it's no longer a new thing or what. Don't get me wrong, I still want/need to run but when that alarm clock goes off I'm no longer jumping out of bed as fast as I used to. I don't want to get to the point I was at previously, where obsessing over it constantly. That's not fun either. It's just been super tough to find a happy medium. I know a big thing is that we aren't "training" for anything. Mind you, it's not like I take 5K's seriously or anything, but if you have that in front of you, you want to make sure to get out there and run so come race day you won't have any issues. The biggest reason we're not participating in 5K's is because of $. It's not like we're broke, but it's not a necessity. I'll get into that a bit later.

~David and I are still playing with the idea of running a marathon within the next year. In all honesty I think it's something we need to keep us moving. However it scares the shit out of me thinking about it. Especially on the days when I feel I suck. Let's be honest....I suck everyday. Running isn't, and will never be, my forte'. That's why I started in the first place. I've never had a pain-free, perfect, fun run. No matter what I always have some form of discomfort, whether it's muscles burning, unsteady breathing, or legs feeling like they're going to fall off.
My good vs bad runs are mostly based on how much or little discomfort I have. If it's tolerable I've had a good run. And if I can also keep a steady breathing pattern, and a steady pace I've had an amazing run. If I keep up on my consistency with running daily these things get much better, but in all honesty I don't see myself being the next olympian. Big surprise?

~ I love David but running with him can be disheartening. We all know he can run circles around me but sometimes it can just piss me off. For instance, he hasn't ran since the cruise, yet today we went out for a run and he took off like it was nothing. Or when I trained for the Half and he did hardly anything (due to the weather and his bad circulation). Yet, he ran me into the ground and then some. I always initially try to keep up, but come mile 1 you'll find me WAY behind him, just plugging along. I get home, and he's breathing easy while sometimes I feel like I'm going to die. Of course he's had a few minutes to chill before I arrive.

~So you may ask, why are you complaining yet still run? I have absolutely no idea. With all that I've said I still love it. And for some odd reason I continue to run through whatever is thrown to me.

~I'm still determined to at least run the Cleveland Half again. Even when running on ice and piles of snow gives you a run for your money you know you're doing it for a reason. With talk of the Half and a possible full comes the talk of a better diet too. Neither David and I claim to be cooks, and my new eating habits may throw a bit of a wrench in our attempts, but hopefully we can get that on track too.

~Money, money's a rich man's world. As with everyone the whole money this has thrown us for a loop. David taking the new job, with a pay cut, and them cutting hours at my work, has taken a chunk out of finances. We're not struggling....yet. But all of this has put a few things in perspective. We're still enjoying extras, and we want to be able to live our lives, but we've tried to cut back, and I can only guess we'll continue to try to cut back more and more. I am grateful for what we do have, as I know some others aren't as lucky, but it's definitely time for a realignment. Only time will tell.

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