Monday, July 13, 2009

I Love You Just The Way You Are

Today David and I have been married for 7 years.

Most people don’t know our story…..

We met my freshman year in high school. Being involved in band we had passed by each other the entire summer. In addition, he was a percussionist, as was my sister Andrea. For some reason he started making himself more and more present around me and my friends. None of us thought much of it. As the end of the summer drew near I was having a small get together at my house. Somehow he got my best friend’s number and made a call basically inviting himself over. At that point we all figured he was gunning for my best friend. Little did I know that he was just using her to get information on me. Soon after we began speaking more and started to date. Our first date was to Sports City. Unfortunately he had already promised to take someone else to homecoming. I respected his decision to keep his promise and I went stag. We continued dating through the winter season, until things started to unravel. We found we both wanted different things at the time and were also immature. I broke up with him and kept my distance. We both dated different people and moved on with our lives.

As time continued on we became friends again. We started to hang out more often and once again David made his presence known. Again, little did I know what he had on his mind. I remember my soon to be SIL saying, “David’s such a good guy….” I didn’t think much of it. At one point David passed me a note. Basically it stated his feelings. I carried that note in my coat pocket for months. I remember in the beginning of my junior year, sitting at the OSU Skull Session with Andrea and mom. I started rummaging through my pockets and sure enough there was the note. For some odd reason I let them read it. Both of their reactions were, “Well, what did you say?!” Of course I had never said anything and just let it lie. They said, “You need to give him a chance.” I knew in my heart I need to, but at that time I wasn’t ready for that. Fast forward several months….David and I were hanging out and I brought up the question of, “What if…..” Soon after that evening David made his move. Although I was expecting it, it totally caught me off guard. Was I ready to start into a relationship with him again? I took a few days to digest the thought and finally made my decision that yes, I was ready to take that step.

Recently David’s mom asked me, “When did you know he was the one? That you were going to marry him?” It took me a few moments to think about that. And I must admit that there was never an “aha moment.” Ultimately when I made the choice to start a relationship with him again I knew deep in my heart that that was it. I had given him up once (and think that it was still necessary), however I wasn’t going to let him go again…..ever.

So how and why did we get married so young? Fast-forward 2 years. We were already engaged and it was inevitable that we were going to get married. True, we hadn’t planned to make it official for another 2 years or so. In a nutshell, David was to get honorably discharged from the military due to health issues and I received a call saying that all of our planning (moving to Columbus, putting a bid on a house, etc) was going to halt because he wasn’t getting out. What?! (Come to find out a year or so later that the paperwork never left his superior’s desk…another LONG story for another day). So we were at a crossroads. What were we going to do? There was no way we wanted to continue our long distance relationship. Once again, we knew we were going to get married, so it was only natural to take the next step.

Of course there were individuals that were out there that disagreed with our choice. Included in that group were my parents. I remember walking downstairs after getting off the phone with David to tell them, “Guess what? We’re getting married.” Unfortunately it wasn’t the most enjoyable experience. In the end they supported our decision and said, “Well, if you’re going to do this, we’re going to do it right…..dress, wedding, and all, even if it is small.” I’m appreciative of my parents support. Then and now I do understand where they were originally coming from. I’ve seen failed young marriages. Add on that, failed military marriages. There’s no doubt that we had the numbers stacked against of. I knew in my heart we were different, but there was no way to portray that. Every young couple thinks they’re different and states that they are…that they’re ready and mature enough to get married. We were thankful for the bridal shower that my aunts threw for us, but I could only imagine what my extended family thought. I think the lack of recognition of our actual wedding from several extended family members gave us the hint of what they thought. But we didn’t let that affect us. Once again, we knew in our hearts where we were and where we were going.

We had a very small wedding, but something that was special to us. Soon after we made the move to New Orleans and made a life for ourselves.

Fast-forward again, 7 years. How have we made it? I don’t think there’s a straight answer to this question. I do know that we’ve evolved as individuals and as a couple. Thankfully our evolution has been together and not on different wavelengths. As with before, our relationship is still different than many couples out there. I’m not saying that it is better or worse than others’, but that difference works for us. We’ve never had a full-blown fight/argument and also find that most times we’re content just being in each other’s presence. No words needed…whether it be on a run, in the car, or just hanging at home. David’s the yin to my yang, as I am to his.

Happy 7th Anniversary David.

1 comment:

Justin said...

Congratulations on making it 7 years! You two have a great relationship. Love you guys.