Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Pitter Patter

We've been together for approximately 9 years and married for 6 years. The time has arrived in our lives. The time when everyone asks, "Well, when are you two going to have little ones of your own." These words make me cringe as I think to myself, "We already have little ones of our own." Sometimes I do say just that but most often I just try to grin and say, "Oh no....we don't plan on having children." Of course this is then followed, "You're young yet. You have time. Your mind will change....." Guh. This wouldn't be so bad and I could deal but it's getting to the point that these conversations are coming up more and more often. In addition, I've found that people won't drop the subject and they nag. I'm starting to wonder if I should just answer with, "I'm unable to have children." Maybe that'd stop them in their tracks. No, they want me to hold their children when it's obvious that I feel quite uncomfortable doing so. And you know they then say, "Oh, she doesn't want to hold the baby for fear that she'll want one." No. Don't think so. I can count on my one hand how many children I've held. And as for my 3 nieces I've only held Cassidy and that took me days. It's one of those things that takes me time to get used to. After doing so I don't mind it. For instance, our friend's child Emma. She's a doll and truly a sweetheart, but it's not like I hopped right into picking her up. And you know what? Even if we were to have a child the next step would be people wondering when we'd be having our next child.

I don't want to offend anyone, but children just aren't my thing. When a child walks in the door at work, chills go up my body and my anxiety goes through the roof. Once again, not all children do this, but for the most part I can count on this happening. I don't think that having children is my calling. It's as simple as that. I can think of a million other reasons why I do not want to have a child. Too many to list here. Thankfully David and I are on the same page in regards to this situation. As we say, we will never 100% rule out having children and believe that whatever God wants will happen. But you can bet that we're trying every means possible to avoid having a child. We're also thankful that even though both of our parents would love to have a grandchild, they're accepting of our decision and support our choice. We love the fur-covered, four-legged kids that we have. We can kennel them or leave by themselves for several hours and not get arrested. And even more importantly, they fulfill our lives in so many ways.

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