Thursday, August 14, 2008


Looking at the calendar I can't believe we're already in August for the year 2008. It's true that time moves faster when you get older.

Yesterday was Spencer's 1 month anniversary of joining our family. He has made himself right at home. And even after a few rough spots in the adjustment period it's gone quite smooth and we're glad we made the decision to not only adopt a greyhound, but chose Spencer to adopt. Actually, it's more like he chose us.

I figured I'd also update you on a couple other things. I've been a lacto-ovo vegetarian for 2 months now. It's still going well with no real glitches. As with anything it's easy to be an unhealthy vegetarian, but I think I'm doing well. Think about it, you could be a vegetarian and eat potato chips all day. Not good. I believe I allow myself a decently well-rounded diet. I can't remember the last time we even had fast food. It's not like I have many choices if we were to go there so we just don't. I had my first craving 2 weeks ago. It was for a Whopper with cheese. I definitely knew it was truly a want considering I haven't had BK in over 2 years. While in Michigan we ate there a couple times and every time I felt sick afterwards. It didn't take long for us to avoid going there. My other craving was rice krispie treats. But considering marshmallows have gelatin, a no-no, I avoided them. Come to find out that they do have vegan marshmallows and marshmallow treats. I'm gonna have to buy some of those. So that's going well, which I'm very happy with.

It's also been 4 months since I've been on Zoloft. I believe I can say that it does work. My anxiety and compulsiveness has been taken down several notches. The downside is that I see that my compulsiveness is lowered and I try to fight it with no success. My body's not used to letting things slide so my mind gets torn. For instance, running. I know I should run and want to run but I find myself saying, "Oh I'll do it later..." Same thing we accomplishing simple tasks like cleaning or reading. In addition my memory seems shot. I'm not kidding when I say I can sit down at the computer determined to look something up, a different thought enters my mind for 1 second and I can't remember what I had wanted to look up. This is quite scary to me as I've always had an awesome memory and can recall any detail when asked. And sometimes I'll even do this when I'm talking. My mind wanders and I find it hard to put my thoughts together to make a sentence. And these past 2 things (less compulsiveness and memory) combine sometimes. I'm a list maker so I always have 1 to 2 lists going at all times. Previously this was an obsessive thing and something I really didn't need. Now I do need it for memory but since my compulsiveness is gone I find myself either forgetting or putting off making a list. I could also sleep all day if my schedule allowed me. I do attribute some of this to being worked into the ground while at work. I'm throughly exhausted by the time I step foot in the door. So I wasn't surprised that when I sat down to read at 7 last night I ended up falling asleep on the couch for 2 hours and then slept through the night. I awoke at 5am today and I could definitely hit the hay right now if I could. I've always been a dreamer. I also tend to remember my dreams. However, since being on the medication my dreams haven't ceased and have only become more vivid and realistic. To the point where I'm always waking up saying, "Did that really happen?" Not to mention, I can recall every detail in them. Why's my memory so good with the dreams and not the rest of my life? So I guess what I'm saying is that there are trade-offs to the medication. It's do what it's supposed to be doing but I'm not sure if I necessarily like it. I guess I need to determine if I want to have a good memory and be compulsive or have a poor memory and be laid back. I guess I can't have my cake and eat it too. But damn, I love cake.

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