Friday, May 30, 2008

Running Funk

For some unknown reason I've been in a funk. A running funk to be exact. Since the Half I've found it harder to get out there and get moving. In addition, when I do, I feel as though I'm trudging along. What's the deal? I ran 13 miles less than 2 weeks ago and now I'm finding it hard to kick out 3 miles. What gives? Most people say that running is 10% physical and 90% mental. That's definitely true. If you defeat yourself before you even step outside your run is doomed. At least that's true in my case. I have to psych myself up for a run. This has always been the case and now it's no different. Especially those long runs. If I go out knowing that I'll be spending 1-2 hours pounding pavement my mind is at ease. Don't get me wrong, I'm still nervous at the challenge set before me, but it's as though I just give myself to the road and roll with it.

So back to my funk. For instance, this morning I had my alarm set for 6am to get up with David (I don't go in until the afternoon). But instead of getting up I told myself, "Ah, give yourself some more time in bed." I kept telling myself that and by the time I actually got up it was 7:30am. Then I wanted to eat, which means I have to wait an hour before heading out. So needless to say I didn't get my butt outside until after 8:30am. I started out running and just felt weird. I wasn't in a groove. This tends to happen for all of my runs. I never feel "good" when I start out. Actually I don't tend to hit my "comfort zone" until 3 miles in. But today felt abnormally weird. My right thigh was killing me (more than likely due to my 5-miler on Wednesday). Normally I'd just muster my way through it but not today. Which meant I started questioning what the hell I was doing trying to run. Yep, the run was doomed from the moment I woke up. Needless to say my run ended up being a walk. A fast walk, mind you, but still it was a walk. The entire time I was beating myself up. "Why didn't I just get up at 6am and leave right away?" "Why am I sore from a run 2 days ago? A run that shouldn't be bothering me at this point in my running "career"." "Why did I eat that Mexican food last night? And even more, why did I over eat?" "Why can't I just get off my ass everyday and do this and not have that little devil on my shoulder trying to talk me out of it. This is something I need for a multitude of reasons. Something that believe it or not I enjoy. True, it is a love/hate relationship, but the payoff is always worth it." "Why am I beating myself up over having these problems?" "Why am I in a funk??"

I think to a certain extent my mind/body saw the Half as a finality to running. Of course I've always known that it was not the end, only the beginning. I just got to get everything back in line and in focus. This includes my mind, my body, my nutrition, and my general lifestyle. David's succeeding in his endeavor of losing/maintaining weight and exercising. I've seen myself start to slack and it's time to take it back.

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