Sunday, February 18, 2007

Happy To Be Me

As usual, we had an enjoyable weekend and don't want the work week to begin yet. On Saturday morning I worked and then that afternoon we battled some snow flurries and went out to get some things done. We decided to go see Music and Lyrics at the movies during the late afternoon. It was too cute and funny at the same time. We had hoped to see it earlier in the week but couldn't because of the massive amount of snow. Anyway, it was very good and I recommend seeing it. And as I always say I am the luckiest person in the world for having my husband. Of course for multiple reasons, but one thing is that he'll watch and go to the movies to see chick flicks. And not only does he not complain but he often wants to see them just as much as me. Not to mention he has to take criticism from those around him for watching them and them saying that he's "whipped". And ya'll know that he's not just trying to impress me by watching them because if he's still doing that after 4+ years of being married that'd just be crazy. So as I said, I highly recommend it especially if want a good laugh (I didn't know Hugh Grant could be that funny) and want a warm fuzzy movie.
Justin and Cass also came into town on Friday evening so we got to spend some time with them throughout the weekend. Of course we did the usual...Chet and Matt's. Otherwise we just hung out. Since they were in town we got to keep Sloopy and as usual he keeps the cats on their toes while giving us a few laughs and many smiles. You can't resist when you come down in the morning and all he wants to do is circle your legs and beg for your love and attention.
I got some school work done tonight. Have I told you yet how much I dislike my speech class? God love it, but it's giving me anxiety. I don't have a problem with the speech part of it, it's just putting everything together and trying to plan everything out to make sure I have enough time to do everything. One more step to my degree....
With that being said I've noticed recently that I am not as positive as I used to be like I was back in the early years of high school. I shouldn't say recently...actually I've been noticing it for a long time. Man, I used to be so happy go lucky and wanted to bring sunshine to everyone's life. What happened and where has all the negativity come from? Instead of opening my mind as life continues, it has begun to close off. Anyone else ever notice this has happened as they age? It's not like I'm unhappy with my life. On the contrary, I love my life and those in it. I think the negativity started when people were constantly putting me down for being that "happy go lucky person". I could only handle so much criticism then my happiness slowly turned to negativity. Then you add the stress of everyday life...worrying about money, your job, trying to make people happy for the wrong reasons....So that's where I am. I'm now trying to slowly change that negativity into happiness for myself. Trying to stop judging people. Because if I remember correctly, I don't liked to be judge. I'm trying to open my mind and trying to live in the moment. Not trying to run around so much. For instance David and I were in the car today and I was just enjoying my time. I wasn't worried about where I was going or how long it was taking us to get there...I was enjoying that one moment with my husband. I want to just "be" and then that will turn into my own happiness that I can in turn spread around. Corny, I know, but I think well worth it. I think that's why I like the blog so much. It's a release for me. Who cares if no one reads it. I write it and it makes me feel better and allows me to put whatever I want to say, pictures I want to post, or anything I want and no one can say "you can't do that." And if people think it's stupid. So what. Same thing with the Crocs. Although I know about every person in the world has them now I can finally wear something that is bright and crazy that screams "this is me". I used to wear bright stuff all the time because that is who I was...I am still that person. I have always been able to continue to wear bright things, but the Crocs have helped me to enter back into the world of being me and wearing what I want to wear and not worrying about whether the person walking past me thinks they're God awful. Actually I love seeing people's eyes watch my feet as I walk past...I always wonder, "hmmm, I wonder what they're thinking." But in no way am I worried about what they're thinking. Alright, I'm deep into this now, but I think y'all get what I mean. I want to be happy to be me again and I got to say, it's coming.

On a much lighter note, we actually booked our trip to Hawaii last night! Sweet. I've been saying "Our Hawaii trip...." But it is now truly ours. How very exciting and something so great to look forward to. I hope everyone had a bright and enjoyable weekend that continues through the work week. Good night.


Anonymous said...

Hello there Bugs,
Your message was enlightening. The "Word" says, "For out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaketh." Matthew 12:34.
We are not promised tomorrow. So, giving thanks and being appreciative for the blessings we've been given fills the heart. You are being true to your heart by blogging your intimate thoughts. Let me tell you, your words bless me. I love hearing about your true love for The Boy. Also, let that light shine girlie! I wish there were more people who would realize that words that are spoken - can't be erased like you erase a chalk board! You're a blessing to me and Alpa as well. I'm the luckiest Sita in the world!
I love you....

Jan said...

You are a ray of sunshine. You make this world a much better place to live in. You have brought your Dad and I so much joy throughout the years. We love ya "thissss much".