Suck It Up

The past week I've been dealing with some "guilt". It's the same ol' thing I've been battling. Realistic thought vs. Motivational thought. I've been wanting to get out to run but then it snows or it's freezing out, and I feel like I can't run. At the same time I read other's blogs seeing how they're out there trudging away at training. What's the deal? Am I a sissy or should I be out running? I want to run, that's not the question. We've even visited the idea of joining a gym or the Y, or taking up our neighbors invitation to use their treadmill. At least I'd still be running, which is what I want to do. But the bottom line is that I not only want to run, but I want to run outside too. I go through all of my trains of thought. I ask myself, "Is it safe to be out running?" but don't know what to answer. I see others are doing it, so it should be safe. On the other hand I don't want to be out there killing myself only to find that I am making a fool of myself and I shouldn't be running. Then I try to think on another level. Maybe I'm not out there because it comes down to feeling that I'm not prepared enough minus spikes or that I think I don't have enough warm weather gear or that I don't think I have the knowledge of dressing appropriately. I'm sure I've totally lost you . I think the problem is that I'm thinking. What do you think? Haha. Oh glory, I'm whacked out. The good thing is that although my training schedule has been thrown out the window the past 2 weeks, I'm still increasing my mileage and I still feel great.

Due to all of this thinking David and I haven't run since I last running post, which was Thursday. With the bitter weather coming I contacted our neighbor to take them up on their invitation to use their treadmill. I was unable to get in touch so just threw the idea out the window. Having not run Friday or Saturday I still knew for sure I wouldn't be running in the frigid weather Sunday (today). But for some reason I got a bug in my butt today and wanted to get moving after having 2 days off. I knew I had to meet my goal of 6 miles for my weekend long run. As usual, I went through my process of elimination of how to go about accomplishing it. The Y was out. We still have 2 free passes but they didn't open until 1pm. That wouldn't work. Then I tried our neighbor one last time. Although I waited until after 10am to call I think I perturbed them by calling. In the end they said, "Ok." but I felt as though I was putting them out so decided against that idea. It was settled. I just had to bundle my butt up for the 9 degree temperature and hit the road. I threw on my layers and was ready to go, but had to make a phone call. Once again I was back to my questioning/thinking state and wasn't sure if what I was doing was right. (Why am I going through this stage??) I called Erika, who've I've personally made my mentor, in hopes of getting some reassurance. As expected, she was there with an open mind and a ton of help and inspiration. It was as good as if she was standing right there gently pushing me out the door. I couldn't have asked for anyone better.

Geez! It was cold. I'm a cold-type of person so the cold really gets to me. I had 2 layers on my bottom, 3 on top, a neck gator, a hat, a hood, and 2 pair of gloves. Within a half mile I had hit what I call my "cold wall". I had my fingers pulled out of the finger slots in the gloves and my hands were in fists, inside both sets of gloves. The neck gator was taking some getting used to. It was hard hearing myself breathe and it started to get wet and freeze. Other than that I felt pretty good. Cold, but good. Thankfully the sun was shining but I still had a bit of wind to contend with. It was then that I added my, "Good morning wind, come run with me," talking. I just kept listening to my music and kicking it out. I was determined to meet my goal. By mile 2 I was feeling great and had settled into my pace (which ended up being slow for the day...a trade off that I will accept given the circumstances). My fingers had warmed and I had gotten the neck gator use down to a science. I'd move it up and down as I needed it. And since I was running a loop around my house, by the second loop I knew when I needed to use it and when not to. Although I was determined to meet my 6 mile goal I also had the realistic thought in the back of my mind reminding myself that if I wouldn't be able to finish, due to the cold, then that's the way it would be. However, by mile 4 I was telling myself, "Yep. You're going to make it. It's a done deal. Just finish what you started." And just like that I had completed what I started. Frozen snot on my face and gloves, and all. Not only had I met my goal of just making exactly 6 miles and cut my route short, but I kept it up. I completely finished the route and ended with a total 6.7 miles. That's what I'm talking about! I didn't just meet, I exceeded. Once again, a confidence boosting run. I'm hoping that with this run my thought process will hopefully allow me to get out and run in the frigid single-digit weather easier in the future. Erika was my phone call of choice after my run today. Thank you Erika! As always, you rock.